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“…you are precious to me. You are honored and I love you.”
Isaiah 43:4 (NLT)

I realize these words are true. I know God loves me. Still, there are times in which I feel unlovable, unworthy…even alone.

Why?

For many of us, the deaths of our spouses stir up feelings of no longer feeling special, set apart, or chosen by another. But through Scripture we are able to see truth. God tells us time and again we are indeed treasures, precious to Him. We are loved and chosen.

However, knowing the truth and actually living it are two separate things. How do we transition from head knowledge (the knowing) of God’s love to heart knowledge (the feeling) of that love?

There are many ways, I’m sure. The following works for me. I want to share it with you, sisters. I call it DRILL and it has become second nature to me in this personal journey to feel truly the depth of God’s love. DRILL stands for:

Dive in, Record, Invoke, Look Around, and Look Beyond:

Dive In!

First and foremost, dive into God’s Word. Think of the Bible as God’s personal love letter to you. Surrounding ourselves with the words of love He gives us is an important beginning step.

Record!

I keep a green leather journal with me at all times, small enough to fit in my purse. When I read a scripture and it touches me, as if God is speaking to me personally, I write it down.

The journal’s not just for scripture—if a song, or a quote from a book, devotion, or sermon touches my heart and gets my attention, it goes in, as well.

It’s always close by. When God speaks to me through every day happenings, I immediately write it down. You could use your cell phone’s Notes app or find a cute little notebook with pen attached at the bookstore. Figure out what works for you personally.

Invoke!

If I ever doubt my place in God’s heart, or feel loneliness begin to weigh me down, I simply pull out that journal. Each time I read a “note” from God, I take one more step beyond knowing His love in my head to truly feeling it in my heart.

Look Around!

By writing in my journal, I have gotten into the habit of looking around for examples of His love in my everyday life. When you begin truly looking, you will be astonished—it’s everywhere!

Look for God everywhere! He can be found in a phone call from a friend at just the right moment, a devotion speaking exactly to your feelings—He can even be seen in the timing of a check in your mail. Rest assured! God’s thinking of you and loving you. This song helps me with this: “God Speaking” by Mandisa

Look Beyond!

It’s not just the good things happening to us. Looking at disappointments, or hurtful actions of others from the right perspective can show you how God protects you, takes care of you. Choose to see all as evidence of His perfect love, even when, in the midst of those moments, you may not be able to see the good. When you actively seek God, you will be overwhelmed by what you find!

Dear friends, we have a unique opportunity in this season of widowhood. We can really focus on God in ways we couldn’t when our loved one was still with us. None of us would have chosen this journey—nevertheless, allow God to make the most of it.

If, like me, you identified your self-worth and validation by your husband and your marriage, losing that safe sanctuary is difficult. It’s also a chance to build your confidence through God’s unwavering love for you. The process takes time and energy from you–but the reward will be worth it.

I believe someday God may bless me again with marriage. Before that happens, I must learn to seek validation and self-worth only from God. For me to be my own person, the person God wants me to be, I want to go into future relationships—friends, family, possibly marriage—enjoying the full pleasure of what they are meant to be.

Why don’t you take this journey alongside me? Let’s become secure in God, first and foremost, so that no matter what else the world throws our direction, we have assurance in both our heads and in our hearts.

We. Are. Chosen.

Heavenly Father, I pray we will not just know with head knowledge about Your love for us, but also truly feel it deep in their hearts and souls. Speak to us through Scripture, music, and the words of others, so we may hear Your personal message to us. Help us to have open hearts and minds to the evidence of Your love all around us in the events of our lives. Flood our souls, dear Father, with Truth, so it becomes not just something we know, but something we feel. Thank You in advance for the confident, secure and chosen women we are becoming in You. Amen