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Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

Widows have very different perspectives on things.

Like what to do with your husband’s stuff. When/if you stop wearing your wedding rings. Selling the house and moving. Even dating and remarriage. If I have learned anything along this widow’s journey it is this: there’s no right or wrong answers to dealing with these topics unless Scripture has a specific answer. Even though we may make different choices on these topics, it doesn’t mean one choice is right and the other is wrong.

So how does one honor God in these discussions about the rings, dating, or any other topic in widowhood?

We honor God by honoring our sister and the choices she has made in prayer. When our sister is following Christ and her choices are not in contradiction with Scripture, we allow her that space. To be able to talk about the topics without forcing our way is a wonderful way to honor God by honoring her.

Sometimes in this journey, we recognize the different perspectives we can have: one can see the situation from one direction, and one sees from another. The perspective may be completely clear to one of us, but sometimes we need to be reminded there might be another side to the issue.

As we are on this journey of widowhood together, we are helping each other when we see topics that have no black-and-white answer from various perspectives. Even on our team, we have very different perspectives on how we have dealt with these topics. This adds so much value to our ministry. We each have prayed about these topics and have been Holy Spirit-led to handle them differently. God created us to work in community. This community of widows has many different colored threads and fabrics but work together to the glory of God.

Sister, you will never be the same, you will be different. And that’s okay. You may have different friends and participate in different activities.

But can I move forward and still keep his stuff in my closet, on my bed, or in the drawers? It depends on what God is nudging YOU to do. You are only responsible for yourself. You aren’t responsible for what I was led to do. I gave most of my husband’s clothes to a facility that helped men find jobs after addiction recovery. Some of his favorite items we had made into bears for each of our kids and his mother. My friend flew into town to help me with all his clothing about three months after he passed away. Others on our team still have their husbands’ clothes in their shared closet. Different perspective..

I also sold OUR house after three years. Others stay put in the home they shared with their husbands. Different perspective.

My rings came off after about six months. It was our wedding anniversary and I just felt it was the right time. I wore his band on my left-hand middle finger for a long time after that. After a few years, I didn’t feel the need to wear any ring on my left ring finger anymore. And I was okay with it. Others continue wearing their wedding bands for decades or even through the rest of their lives. Different perspective.

Our vision, however clear it seems to us, may not be the only perspective on the situation. We are called to respect others even when our perspectives differ.

Lord Jesus, give us grace with each other on our journeys. When believers are able to discuss ideas in love, it honors You and our sisters. Thank You for these different perspectives that make life so much more beautiful. Amen