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Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:19 (ESV)

Last week I was playing trains with my three-year old grandson, Mason. We connect the trains of “Thomas and Friends” to ride on different levels and watch them circle and move, head to a station, and then go to another track. His younger brother, age two, sometimes decides to join the fun, but doesn’t understand how to participate. He grabs a moving train or puts his foot on a track. One or two fall over-derail-and the motion stops. We reconnect to resume travel and we watch the trains move to different tracks and loops.

Derailed. That would describe my feelings at initial grief and loss. Is that a word to describe yours?

Plans for a retirement with my husband, travel, enjoying grandchildren, serving in church, outings with couples…all were part of our track. Then, without warning, chest pains, a trip to the ER, a life flight, and surgeons’ words, “I’m sorry. We did all we could,” derailed me. It was as if someone had grabbed the train or put up a barrier. This wasn’t the itinerary we planned. Travel had stopped.

Gradually, I reconnected.

I reconnected as I shed tears and knew they were God’s provision for healing.

I reconnected as friends and family supported me.

I reconnected reading His Word of encouragement and found grace for every moment.

I reconnected as I tried to process grief in a support group.

I reconnected with myself as I stretched to learn new skills and began to make “I” plans.

I reconnected with life as new friends-widows-came into my life.

I reconnected with laughter as newborns arrived and my older grandchildren gave hugs and reasons for joy.

I reconnected as I began to write again.

I reconnected as I moved forward and became a facilitator for a grief support group.

I don’t have to tell you grief can immobilize. Loss is real and each widow has a different timetable and circumstances affecting when and how she gets up when derailed. I didn’t expect to be widowed at my age, and without warning. Yet, God provided strength.

Psalm 105:4 (NIV) reminded me, “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always,” to get up and move.

As I reconnected, His mercy and grace accompanied me and I began to ride further and further. I’m on another track, not the one I had planned, but I am moving forward.

Father, when I feel derailed, thank You for Your stability. As I look to Your strength, help me to move forward in Your plans, confident that Your grace accompanies me for every path and turn. In Jesus name, Amen.