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$350!

That was the emergency room cost during a family vacation. Was I overreacting to my youngest boy’s abdominal pain? Maybe he ate too much pizza!

Decisions as a widow aren’t easy. We can’t share the fallout of bad ones with our husbands anymore.

But I learned my lesson about hesitating on abdominal pain years before when another one of my sons complained about a tummy ache while skiing. I waited, thinking maybe it was all that cocoa he drank. We later landed in the emergency room with a doctor showing us the ultrasound of an appendix ready to burst.

How do you reconcile a near-miss with appendicitis with what now might be a simple belly-ache?

I couldn’t. As mom-in-charge, I knew it wasn’t about making the right choices. If life was about me making all the right choices using my own abilities—I’d fail for sure.

Knowing I don’t have to be right all the time has been so helpful over the years as a widow.

When I don’t know which course to take, I pause to breathe, walk in obedience and listen to the Holy Spirit. And when I do, I can let go of the results, knowing I’ve decided according to Him. If I feel the Lord guiding me to take him for a hospital visit, only to find that after $350, he’s just fine, I will have made the right decision. The simple act of obedience is worth the investment.

Why? Because…

…the more you listen to the Holy Spirit, the louder He becomes.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that listening to Him and hearing Him takes practice. As you tune your ear to His direction, you begin to hear Him better. You can then more easily receive His help with the next decision in life.

Jesus explained to his disciples that He would not be leaving them alone, but would send the Holy Spirit to guide them.

He told them, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”
John 14:23

The Holy Spirit will make His home with you if you keep His word.

Don’t we need that as widows? We’ve taken on some big guns of responsibility! Some of us now have to wear the boots in the family or run our husband’s business. Even the immediate decisions after the funeral is responsibility enough!

Don’t let fear of making wrong decisions paralyze you.

When stressing over making the right choice turns into obsessing, you’ve taken your focus off God and put it on yourself. That actually makes you more prone to erratic, poor decision-making, rather than good decision-making.

Psalm 58:4-5 (ESV) says,

“They have venom like the venom of a serpent, like the deaf adder that stops its ear, so that it does not hear the voice of charmers or of the cunning enchanter.”

I love that analogy! The psalmist uses a snake being “charmed” to paint a picture of taming our own poor decisions by staying focused on God. Imagine the “deaf adder” is a snake that puts one ear to the ground and uses his tail to plug the other and looks away from the charmer so that he can’t see or hear “Him”. He becomes dangerous and unpredictable on his own. But as long as he watches and listens to the charmer, he is safe to be around.

Isn’t that how it is with us? I’ve redefined good decision-making by looking at where my heart was when making the choice. Was I listening to Him? If I’ve obeyed the Lord’s will and weighed the consequences, I can accept them, good or bad, without obsessing on whether I’ve made a sound choice.

Strengthen your “obedience muscle”

My son’s belly ache was most likely the pizza, but no doubt–that $350 was a good investment. It gave me peace of mind and reinforced His will in my life. I strengthened my obedience muscle. Who knows–this might have been a stepping stone to bigger missions He will use me for!

Dear God,

Give us all confidence in being able to live our lives without fear of decision making. Help us know and hear Your voice better, even in the little things. Make Your voice stronger with each time we obey. Amen.