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Since the passing of my husband six years ago, I have had to make a lot of decisions starting with his final arrangements and memorial service.

Decision-making was and continues to be, extremely difficult for me; and a little confounding. While I consider myself an intelligent woman, sometimes even the simplest decisions, like choosing a paint color for the living room, have left me paralyzed in a fog and calling one of my daughters to help me.

A lot of the decisions I have made over the last six years were much more significant than selecting the right paint color. Each time I relied on four things to help me make the right decision.

Sometimes when we are looking at a major decision, the Enemy likes to stand beside us and whisper in our ears, “You’re all alone in this predicament.” He likes to remind us that our husbands should be here to make this important decision.

The first thing to do is to lean on the promises in God’s Word

Verses like Isaiah 58:11 tell us He will guide us and John 14:26 remind us that the Holy Spirit will teach us.

Ask for wisdom!

With that assurance, it’s time to take the second step and ask for wisdom from the Lord. James 1:5 (NIV) reminds us that if we need wisdom, we merely need to ask!

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

When faced with a decision, we should always take it to the Lord in prayer asking Him to guide us and give us the wisdom we need for that particular situation.

Leave it at the Throne of Grace

Ok, I know! If you are anything like me this is the hard part. I like my answers quickly and wrapped in a cute little box and pretty ribbon. But remember, it’s about God’s timing. Therefore, heed Paul’s encouragement in Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV).

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Do your homework!

The next step is to do your homework. Don’t make the decision blindly. Count the cost, weigh the pros and cons and consider how it may affect your family. Read reviews on products or services and shop for the best price.

For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?
Luke 14:28 (ESV)

Seek Counsel

Lastly, I haven’t always made big decisions on my own. There were times when I sought wise counsel. When I needed to replace my car at the height of the pandemic and was finally able to test drive vehicles, I asked my mechanic to examine them and make his recommendation.

I also sought out wise counsel when replacing my forty-year-old furnace. Should I go with oil or propane? I had no clue but with the help of a former co-worker and friend of my husband, I was able to make an informed and confident decision.

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 15:22 (ESV)

As a widow, never be too proud to ask for help to make a decision. He may give you the wisdom to make it on your own or He may guide you to someone with the knowledge and expertise you need. Or maybe a little of both!

And in case we should ever get prideful and think we can do it ourselves and don’t need His help, Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) instructs us with these words.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Lord, one of the hardest things to do as a widow is making decisions, especially the ones our husbands would have made. Give us the wisdom to know what to do, when to do it, how to do it and that we can do it! In Christ Jesus, we proclaim we can do all things because it is He that strengthens us.