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After the loss of a spouse, the emotional weight can be overwhelming, and in that place of pain, it’s easy to believe lies that distort the truth. The enemy loves to prey on our vulnerability, especially when we are grieving. Today, I want to address three lies I believed after my husband, Vic, passed away, and how God revealed His truth in each of those moments.

Lie #1: Nobody Cares About Me

After Vic passed away, I couldn’t help but compare the attention he received during his illness with the care I received after he was gone. People seemed so present, so attentive when he was sick. But when I was left alone, I believed the lie that nobody cared about me. Comparison, I have learned, is a tool the enemy uses to steal our joy and distort our perspective.

The truth is, comparison is always a trap. Scripture tells us:

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else”
Galatians 6:4 (NIV)

By comparing my grief and the care I received with Vic’s, I fell into the lie that I was unimportant, that my pain wasn’t worth attention. But God sees each of us individually, and His love for us is not diminished by another person’s experience. I had to remember that God deeply cared for me and that He had placed people in my life who cared for me, even if it didn’t always look the way I expected.

Lie #2: I Have To Do This Alone

In my grief, many people told me, “God has to be enough.” While their intentions were good, what I often heard was, “You shouldn’t need people; God is all you need.” This left me feeling as if I wasn’t mature enough in my faith, or that by needing others, I somehow wasn’t trusting God.

But here’s the truth: God designed us for community. Scripture is clear that we are meant to carry each other’s burdens:

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ”
Galatians 6:2 (ESV)

Yes, God is our ultimate source of comfort and strength, but He also created the Church—our brothers and sisters in Christ—to be His hands and feet. It’s not a lack of faith to need people; it’s how God designed us. The lie that I had to walk this road alone caused me to question my faith based on other people’s comments.

Jesus Himself lived in community with His disciples. He wept with Mary and Martha when Lazarus died (John 11:35). His compassion was always personal and relational. It’s not a sign of spiritual immaturity to need community; it’s a reflection of how God made us to be.

Lie #3: I Can’t Do This

When Vic passed away, I was faced with countless tasks I had never done before. I would often stand in front of a project, whether it was fixing something in the house or dealing with financial matters, feeling completely overwhelmed and telling myself, “I can’t do this. Vic should be here.” It felt impossible.

But then, God reminded me of the Israelites standing at the edge of the Jordan River. They couldn’t cross until they stepped into the waters:

As soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water’s edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing”
Joshua 3:15-16 (NIV)

Sometimes, we have to take that first step in faith. As I stepped into each new challenge, God met me there. Slowly, I realized that I could do it—not because of my own strength, but because God was with me. The lie that I couldn’t do it evaporated as I saw how God equipped me, step by step, to handle what I had thought was impossible.

Heavenly Father,
I come before You today, acknowledging the lies I have believed in my grief. I confess the times I have compared myself to others, doubted my need for community, and felt powerless in the face of new challenges. Thank You for Your truth, which breaks through every lie the enemy throws our way. Help us all to trust in Your love, to rely on the people You’ve placed in our lives, and to step forward in faith, even when the way seems unclear. Lord, remind us that You are always with us, and that through Your strength, we can do all things.