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The boys of fall.

It’s football season, and though it may sound trivial, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit this season brings some sadness. My late husband, Michael, was an incredible athlete who loved football. He couldn’t wait for our son, Ty, to play one day. From the very beginning–his newborn photos even included a football in his hands–Michael imagined this season of life.

Ty’s interest really didn’t pique until fourth grade when he joined a flag football team, and then moved on to 7-on-7. It was bittersweet to watch him play the sport Michael enjoyed so much without his dad by his side. In sixth grade, Ty stepped into tackle football. Seeing him dressed in his pads and helmet, playing Michael’s old position and scoring touchdowns, brought a mix of emotions. Just last week, he began his seventh-grade season with his school team, another milestone Michael would have loved to witness.

This season can bring joy, but also sadness that Michael isn’t here to see the moments he was so eager to be a part of.

While I’m grateful my dad practices with Ty often, he and my husband, Keith (I remarried), throw the football, and he trains with a great coach, there are moments I still feel the weight of “filling in the gap” Michael left. I’ve never played football, though my dad joked about me trying out for my high school team, but the responsibility of making sure Ty has what he needs (in sports and in life) sometimes feels heavy.

I can’t believe it’s been more than 10 years since Michael made his way to heaven, but grief shows up like this even years later: in the missed moments, the what-ifs, the longing for someone who should be here.

When I start to feel the pressure of doing and being it all, I remind myself I was never meant to carry that alone. The Lord has placed amazing men in Ty’s life, and…

The Lord is the one in control, not me. He is sovereign.

The Lord Almighty has sworn, ” Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed so it will happen.”
Isaiah 14:24 (NIV)

We are His children, and He cares for us.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.
Psalm 55:22 (NIV)

His purposes always bring about good for our children and us.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Faith means being certain of what we can’t see, even in the moments of grief that are difficult and don’t make sense, even when our lives aren’t what we envisioned. We have to release our grip over control and place our future and our children’s future into the Lord’s hands. He’s got us!

Lord, as the seasons shift and change, teach us to rest in you and your unfailing love. Give us confidence in Your goodness, even when we feel the weight of grief. Remind us that You have a purpose and plan for our lives and the lives of our children. Fill our hearts with peace as we surrender our plans to Yours. Help us walk in faith, knowing that every season is held in Your care. In Jesus’ name, Amen.