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Out of Sorts

One meaning given for the phrase, ‘Out of Sorts’ —

‘Not in one’s usual health or state of mind.’ (Phrases.org)

Have you ever experienced the feeling? A terrible gnaw felt so deep inside that it becomes a physical pain that permeates through your entire being.

Can we pinpoint that change in our world — a timeline of sorts? One minute, we lived in our own personal world, heading in one direction only to experience a 180-degree turn. Where ‘normal’ just moments before becomes our past.

Was it a doctor’s visit to hear the results of medical tests run? Or notification of a terrible accident or a massive heart attack that gave us no warning of this life change? Possibly an unknown, unheard-of-before virus that suddenly changed our lives forever?

What is the answer for this now perpetual state of ‘Out of Sorts’?

Will we ever find an escape?

Widowhood is a constant reality that impacts our lives in every area.

In desperation, we cry out to our Lord, “How will I survive this pain, this loss?

When we put a voice to this pain, are we expecting an answer?

Stop with me for a minute today. Whisper a prayer to the Lord for His answer. Could this be the answer we will hear?

“Abide in Me.”

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
John 15:4-5 (NKJV)

What does ‘Abide in Me’ require?

I believe it requires leaning into God’s healing — His comfort — with full-scale surrender.

What does ‘Abide’ look like?

Zeeva’s Love-Lean.

Have you found it amazing that when God is trying to speak into your spirit, He will stop you in moments He wants you to see – to understand?

Zeeva is a beautiful Belgian Malinois — a breed often used in the military. She was my gift to my husband, Steve, when he retired. Oh, the devoted love she had for him was amazing, and she truly grieved when he passed away.

The thing about Zeeva — she has now transferred all that love for Steve to me.

As I have struggled with survival tactics through widowhood over the past seven years, I was given a visual lesson of ‘leaning into’ with a 75-pound dog.

Because being away from me for even minutes takes Zeeva into terrible separation anxiety, I experience her ‘love lean’ often, but this time I heard what God was trying to tell me…

“See what leaning into feels like, what it looks like…”

Seventy-five pounds pushing against me. I am forced to plant my feet to stay upright with the power of her ‘lean’. She cannot be distracted – not by a treat or a dog toy that I offer to throw. Not even, “There’s a squirrel, Zeeva, go get the squirrel” will take her away from me.

She is that desperate to be with me – to abide in me.

In that moment, I am who she desperately needs – wants.

What happens when we abide?

That ‘out of sorts’ feeling loses its power to control our thoughts and lives.

Not only do we experience a peace we can’t explain, we also are the recipients of God’s sweetest comfort.

Do you think others can see the difference when we are ‘abiding’ in Jesus?

Green grass in the Texas drought

No rain, high temperatures have turned our beautiful yard into a dry, barren place. High winds bring red flag warnings and high fire hazards.

Waking up a few weeks ago, I realized that I had left the water running for 24 hours filling up the pool. I was just sick knowing the cost of that mistake.

Over the next few days, I noticed the path the water took as it overflowed from the pool — a path of green in the midst of dormancy and death. Everywhere the water ran — touched — thrived in the terrible drought of Texas.

The water became the source of life – the grass lived again and was beautiful.

Our God, our Lord is our source for life. As we abide, there will be such beautiful evidence of His presence and power in our lives.

Can we survive Widowhood?

Yes, we can.

To survive, we must lean into the Lord with full surrender.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
Psalm 91:1-2 (NIV)

May we be intentional to dwell in His shelter and rest in His shadow – to abide in Him.

He will fill our hearts with His peace and calm the unsettledness there.

Abiding with Him will be as refreshing water bringing life again.

Our heavenly Father, help us to abide in You for it is there we find all we need to survive in every season. In Your name we pray. Amen