{{item.title | uppercase}}

“Precious in the sight of the Lord
is the death of his faithful servants.”
Psalm 116:15

Our Journey Home

There have been times since my husband went Home suddenly in July 2016 when I have had the opportunity to sit with another widow and hear their story. Though each story is different they all included our husbands at some point heading Home.

Every widow who has said goodbye to her mate could share how very hard the journey has been since that day that is now marked on a calendar to come around and remember every year.

Early grief

So much cannot be remembered clearly except for the pain. Grief doesn’t have to be explained in detail. It just comes in and sets up residence for a long while. Then grief shifts. We find ourselves several years down the road and STILL grief shows up and ignites the pain once again. And even though it does not hold the same power for as long, it still cannot be denied as the grief that it is.

When grief comes again…

In the last few weeks of my mother’s life, I sat with her in the nursing home she had been moved to. She had already asked me a couple of times that day why she was there and when she could go home with me. Waves of emotion flooded over me as I watched my wonderful mom struggle.

Because I could not bear the silence, I asked my mother how she met my daddy.

And that brain that had failed her moments before took us back to a most wonderful and precious time in her life.

Her eyes lit up and a smile came over her weary face. There she was again — my beautiful mom.

“The moment I saw your daddy, I fell in love.”

Though her voice was so weak, I clearly heard her say, “I wrote your daddy’s name down on a piece of paper and took it home. I told my mother, ‘This is who I am going to marry.’”

And marry him she did — just a few weeks later.

She continued her story.

“Your daddy was in the Army Reserves and we wives would go on the weekends to see our guys and stay in a hotel in Temple, Texas.

One night that weekend, your daddy took me up to the ballroom on the top floor. I watched him go to the jukebox there and pick a song. It was Moon River — my favorite song — and he asked me to dance.”

I will never forget the look on her face as she remembered that wonderful night when she danced to Moon River with the one she loved so much.

What a beautiful love story my parents had.

Their story continued until the Lord took daddy Home in 1987 when mom was 51.

In that moment, I realized my wonderful mother was teaching me something new about grief.

BREAK THROUGH THAT GRIEF!

Dementia took over my mother’s mind…

But it could not stop her from remembering the most beautiful chapters of her life shared with my daddy — the love of her life.

Let’s break through the grief.

Grief cannot hold that same power over us unless we let it.

Call that friend who God has brought into your life to walk this season with you. Sit down and REMEMBER. Tell her how you met the most amazing man who swept you off your feet.

That first kiss — was it everything you dreamed about, or like me, I worried that I was a terrible ‘kisser’. But with practice, I got very good at it.

Remember, out loud, when you heard those beautiful words, “I love you” for the first time.

Let the joy of your memories push back the grief and change the very countenance of your face.

Love does that — remembering love will do that again.

Let the memories wash over you and break through the sorrow of grief.

Laugh with your special friend at the funny things that were shared just between you and your husband. Let joy flood back into your heart and mind.

Those wonderful moments and memories were never meant to be forgotten or hidden from the world.

Rejoice over all God gave to you through the love of this man you miss today. No marriage is perfect, we all have such flaws…. remember the precious and throw away the worthless.

Just remember.

Thank you, Mom for teaching me wonderful things even in your last days — for helping me see what breaking through grief looks like. I will never forget your beautiful face that day — that moment you remembered. I pray that same beautiful countenance will be seen on my face as I remember my Steve and the very goodness of our God.

“Truly I am your servant, Lord;
I serve you just as my mother did;
you have freed me from my chains.”
Psalm 116:16

Our Father, we are thankul for the wonderful memories we have of our husbands and the sweet comfort we find in remembering. Amen