{{item.title | uppercase}}

He Gives Beauty For Ashes

But what does that mean? What do you think of when you hear the phrase “He gives beauty for ashes”? Often mentioned when discussing grief, loss, and healing but it also applies to many other situations. Throughout my life, as I heard this phrase, I had always focused on the ‘beauty’ – the positive side of that phrase. However, in the last 19 months of widowhood and grieving my husband’s loss, my attention focused more on the “ashes” and what that actually means and looks like.

Grief has a very physical effect on us

The loss of a spouse is one of the most life-altering and health-impacting experiences an individual can encounter. This profound loss impacts nearly every facet of daily life.

• Beyond emotional distress, grief can trigger changes in sleep patterns….wait, sleep? What’s that?
• Eating habits…many times causing weight loss or weight gain.
• The way we work….it can be hard to remember dates, meetings, and commitments.
• And the way we play…..we might become reclusive or withdrawn with no energy or desire to do anything fun or social.

Widowhood also reconfigures the dynamics of parenthood for those who still have children at home. We become a solo-parent, with all the decisions resting on us instead of two parents who are both invested in and love the children. It can also reshuffle perspectives, outlooks, and life goals. The echoes of this loss reverberate throughout every aspect of daily life, revealing an unfamiliar world that we must navigate alone, all while bearing the heavy burden of grief.

This reality came to life recently when I managed several challenging customer situations in our family business, tasks my husband typically handled. I also made multiple healthcare decisions and financially impactful personal and business decisions. These were all decisions we would have made together, but his absence transformed these ordinary tasks into stark reminders that I was now navigating this path alone, without his presence, wisdom, influence, and love.

Those initial months and sometimes even years of widowhood can be likened to the aftermath of a devastating forest fire. The life once known and cherished is often left unrecognizable, charred, desolate, a barren landscape of ashes void of its former vibrancy.

But God!

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”
Isaiah 43:2 (ESV)

Amidst this bleak, ashy backdrop, we can find an incredible source of hope in our Heavenly Father. And now, approximately a year and a half into my widowhood journey, I can discern subtle yet promising signs of new life. Surveying my life’s landscape, I can see tiny sprigs of new growth sprouting from the charred ruins. I can see new life springing from seeds that may have otherwise stayed dormant without the harsh conditions brought about by the ravaging fire of loss.

“To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”
Isaiah 63:1 (NKJV)

These blossoming springs of new life and growth are sweet reminders that beauty can arise from the ashes of loss. They represent the promise that, even in the darkest moments, life persists, and growth is possible. It is true that the devastation of loss may alter our life’s landscape. However, it can also set the stage for a new chapter of growth and beauty if we are open to it.

Widowhood is a hard journey.

My heart misses the love and companionship of my husband, his dependable presence, and his gentle guidance in difficult situations. Facing uncertain circumstances without him by my side is daunting. Yet, amidst this pain and uncertainty, I am grateful to see glimpses of beauty and growth rising from the ashes. Making impactful decisions has been tough, but I am capable of doing it, and doing it well, as I learn to rely more on God, seek Godly advice when necessary, and be receptive to the Holy Spirit’s prompting and guidance. I know that my circumstances are not hopeless nor am I helpless. The strength developed through my complete reliance on our Heavenly Father surpasses anything I ever imagined possible. And that is just a small glimpse of the beauty that will arise out of these ashes.

“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”
Psalm 27:13-14

Heavenly Father, we pray that as we walk the path before us we are able to see the sprigs of new growth shooting up around us. Many days our lives feel like that desolate charred landscape. Help us to rest in the knowledge that You will bring about beauty from these ashes. Thank You, Lord, for Your love and care. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Click the link below to hear a song that encourages my heart every time I hear it and I hope it encourages yours as well.

Beauty for Ashes