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I can still remember the sounds of the beeping machines and see the view from the room where we were in that hospital. Those days of waiting and uncertainty and the necessity for more medicines and procedures until those last moments are engrained in my brain. That is the way grief tries to redirect me. Grief takes me back to that hospital room so that I will focus on my losses and my disappointment.

Did you bear the burden of moving forward when life suddenly stood still?

God provides a direction and purpose in the midst of our uncertainty.

Did you bear the burden of trying to find hope when a future you had expected suddenly changed course?

God provides a way forward in the midst of confusion and chaos.

Did you bear the burden of grief as you “carry the weight” of love after loss?

God provides His courage when we cling to Jesus.

He carries us and personally bears our sorrows.

Since I lost my husband, it is as though the presence of grief seemed settled on my shoulders. It seemed to saturate my being and at first, I felt alone and abandoned.

After the life changing news that the procedure did not improve the situation,

after we made decisions regarding the care of my husband in that hospital,

and even after the funeral

the impact of my reality forced me to respond.

It became clear that I had to allow the Lord to take my losses as His own. My heart had to follow the promises in His word.

This I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end.
Lamentations 3:21-22 (ESV)

If I am not careful and intentional, grief will steal my love and hope. I do not need to cling to my grief or resist the reality that change has happened. However, when I cling to Jesus through my grief, and trust the power and presence of the Lord, then I find that I am carried by the one who is equipped to bear this heavy load. He personally bears my sorrows. He takes my heavy yoke, and He walks alongside me, bearing the weight. As His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Only then, can I find rest for my soul.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28- 30 (ESV)

Whether blindsided by grief or weary of it, I am never alone in it. Jesus carries my personal sorrows, and He knows the depth of my pain. He knows too how sin has caused much suffering. He bore that curse of sin so that even when sorrow comes, there is restoration for my soul. I can scarcely bear the weight of my own grief, yet He carried the world on His shoulders. He sweat drops of blood. He cried out on that cross. He willingly cried out in His anguish so that I would not be abandoned or alone.

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return
and come to Zion with singing;
everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;
they shall obtain gladness and joy,
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.
Isaiah 35:10 (ESV)

Lord,

We come to You seeking comfort and rest. Often the burden we feel is heavy and we need You to lighten our load. We need Your intercession. We need You to work in our hearts to provide hope and purpose. We need You to fill us with Your love, Your presence, and Your power as we walk through the day. Provide us with Your joy and take away our sorrows. Please direct us as we seek Your plans for our future. In Jesus Name. Amen.