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I waited patiently for the Lord, and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God; many will see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40:1-3 (KJV)

In this season of widowhood, isn’t it easy to get close to that pit of self-pity?

Close enough that you cannot see the never-ending bottom? I can sure tell you I have. That pit calls my name on a daily basis. As it draws me closer to that slippery edge, my mind will play back memories of my life with my husband Kirk, and I long to see him and hear his voice again.

Then the voice will focus my attention on friends and family whose lives have moved on and highlight their successes and happier existence. As I watch the reel of their lives, I see my pain and despair shine through in the background. It’s so agonizing to hear happy stories about lives being torn apart and put back together as I sit broken and alone. Some days I feel so helpless raising my daughter by myself, knowing her childhood was interrupted by the sudden passing of her daddy.

Oh, there are days sisters that I want to dive head-first into that pit and never come back up to the light!!! Wouldn’t Satan just love for me and you to just give in and do that?

As I look over that edge and go over my options in my mind, I hear another voice speak so sweetly to me.

This beautiful voice warns me about that slippery slope and reminds me of His great love for me. He shows me memories of my beautiful daughter and the incredible memories Kirk left us to treasure. He then reminds me of His great love and whispers that He will be with us ALWAYS, never leaving us! As I hear this, I begin to smile and hope fills my heart and soul! I know Jesus is with us and fighting for us every day! That’s how I view this season: it’s an endurance race. And what better cheerleader and coach to have than our Savior, Jesus Christ!

As hope starts to bubble in my soul, that pit disappears and becomes silent!

I don’t want to live or even be near the edge of that pit. It is a slippery edge and it’s so easy to lose my footing and fall in!

Jesus, thank You so much for sweetly whispering in my ear. Guard me against falling into a pit of anger, despair, jealousy, and self-loathing. It’s so easy, Lord, to fall into that pit. Knowing YOU are there to offer me Your hand and pull me out is incredible! Sometimes I do stumble and find myself starting to go down into that black pit. Lord, You have saved me from the bottom so many times! In Your Holy Name Amen