{{item.title | uppercase}}

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
Romans 8:18 (ESV)

“Oh, that could never happen to me.”

Have you ever said those very words? Out loud?

Maybe, a long time ago, in a different season of our lives, we might have thought those very same words. Then that ‘never could happen to me’ – happened.

Never again are we able to fall back and rely on those words completely.

Life has changed that.

Seeing smoke not long ago rising above the bluff on the end of our property, the question became,

“That could never happen to me AGAIN, right, Lord?

I don’t think I can survive another ‘retrieval’ from the ashes.”

That FIRST fire in 2011

I never saw the 80’ high flames, burning on both sides of the road leading to our home, with eight other homes in the fire’s direct path, but my husband, Steve, did.

On that day, I got his call letting me know that he had been able to break a window and save our two elderly dogs, Abby and Sweet Pea.

As he finished that call, telling me where to meet him, he said, “The fire is moving so fast, there’s no way our home will be there tomorrow, Kathy.”

Great Loss — total loss

The house was indeed a total loss. Everything gone.

First, the fire in 2011 and then widowhood in 2016.

No fire, or its aftermath, could compare to my loss on July 17, 2016, when my husband suffered a massive heart attack and went Home.

And nothing could have prepared me for facing life alone without him.

In 2016, I would leave that hospital alone without Steve and return to a ‘dwelling’. Though the circumstances were different, it felt so much like that night in 2011, standing in the aisle of a retail store and facing an empty cart after that fire — except then, Steve stood right beside me.

My sisters, you know loss and all it takes to continue on without our husbands.

Fast forward eleven years.

Smoke was everywhere as our son-in-law drove me toward the bluff. I tried to focus on what he was telling me as panic took over.

Realizing he was repeating his instructions, I listened.

• Here’s my phone, call 911 and tell them where the fire is.
• I’m going to get the tractor and come back down here and make a fire break.
• You grab the fire extinguisher and bring it back to me.

Over and over, I repeated his instructions to myself.

“Please, Lord, I can’t do this.”

And there it was — how could I face another loss, another fire — without Steve?

Standing there, I repeated that one thing to the Lord, but was I talking about the fire that day or just committing — or recommitting to live again without Steve?

All day, the U.S. Forest Service flew over the bluff dropping water pulled from a nearby lake and using a foam retardant spray as well.

Gaining control of the fire, all fire trucks, helicopters, and planes left. But not me.

My son and son-in-law, covered in black soot and smelling like smoke, went to clean up and find something to eat.

Sitting on top of Steve’s beloved tractor, I watched a small flame still burning in the middle of a blackened tree.

“I can’t, Lord. I cannot leave this place, on this bluff, with a flame still burning in the middle of that tree.”

Tears streamed down my filthy face.

“Kathy, don’t lose heart. If you look, you will see there is Another in the fire with you — always has been. And one day soon, I am coming back.”

He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!
Revelation 22:20 (ESV)

I sat for hours, watching. Nightfall came. How could the skies look so beautiful after such a hard and emotional day?

And then I heard, way off in a distance, the sound of a Ranger 4-Wheeler making its way to the bluff. The guys took over the tractor and began to push down the remaining part of the tree that still burned while I made many trips back to the barn collecting water in anything I could lift and carry.

Not only was God standing in the fire,
He sent all I needed to extinguish it!

This season without our husbands is so hard whether it be a repeat of a wildfire or just making it through our day-to-day lives. But He has not left us ‘alone’ to handle it.

“Instead of looking over our shoulders and seeing what we have lost – look

again and see the trail of God’s faithfulness.

How beautiful it is. He was there the whole time!”

Jenny Williams Sarver (A Modern day Ruth 2014)

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that we are never alone in the fires of this life. Help us to always remember Your faithfulness, Lord. We ask You to give us patience as we wait for Your coming. Come quickly Lord Jesus, Come. Amen