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“… [Y]ou will not be overwhelmed with grief like those who live outside of the true hope.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13 (VOICE)

Am I Grieving Right?

This doesn’t seem like a question I ought to ask myself, but I do. I have both heard and said, “Everyone’s grief journey is different. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.” Yet, the question persists. Anyone else? Do you sometimes wonder if you are grieving the right way?

Here are some examples from my life that cause me to dwell on the way I grieve.

Sunday at Church

It rains on Saturday, but Sunday morning is sunny. Everything is going great—until I arrive at church, exit my vehicle, walk toward the building, … and step in a mud puddle. I go to the ladies’ room to wash my sandal, trying carefully not to get water on the insole. No such luck. I put my wet sandal on and go to church. I now see mud on the other sandal. A few tears escape. I see a patch of mud on the arch of my foot that wears the clean, wet sandal. More tears. The sermon is on Jairus’ faith in Jesus to heal his daughter (cf. Mark 5:21-43). I think, “I am listening to a story about Jesus raising a person from the dead. Why am I crying about mud on my sandals?”

But it is about so much more than that.

I think, “If Kevin were here, he would have led me away from that puddle.”

But God’s Word reminds me:

“Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)

GOD is my strength and help. HE upholds me.

The Baking Goods Aisle

I collect the items on my list and come to the baking goods aisle for sugar. And there I see it: the bright red cap atop a container of Cream of Tartar. Tears begin to fall. An older lady comes up to me and gives me a hug. I whisper in her ear, “Snickerdoodles were his favorite.” She nods knowingly, “Things will get better. It just takes time.” She knew, without me having to say it, that I had lost my husband.

This one is easy: I can’t make Snickerdoodles without Cream of Tartar, and Snickerdoodles were Kevin’s favorite. Sometimes, it’s the little things that sneak up on me at the most unassuming moments. God’s Word says:

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

The Lord sent a sweet lady whose embrace reminded me of this precious truth.

A Show About Surviving

It is 3:17, and I sit in my recliner in my pajamas, eating chocolate while watching 20-year-old episodes of a show about surviving, where people lie, cheat, and steal to earn a million dollars. Tears begin to fall. “I am certainly not a survivor. I would never win the prize.” The Holy Spirit immediately speaks to me:

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?
1 John 5:4-5 (ESV)

I love the Lord and believe that Jesus is the Son of God. I have faith. And I am suddenly very glad I am not a mere survivor but an overcomer because I am born of God.

Grief and Hope

It is strange what triggers specific grief episodes. Is it wrong to cry at church when I step in mud? Is it wrong to cry in the Cream of Tartar aisle? Is it wrong to cry during a decades-old television show? The answer is, “No, it is not wrong.” Big sigh of relief.

But in considering these and other triggered grief episodes and ordinary daily grief struggles, God’s Word led me to this conclusion: The only way to grieve incorrectly is to grieve as one without hope.

Brothers and sisters, we want you to be fully informed about those who have fallen asleep in death so that you will not be overwhelmed with grief like those who live outside of the true hope.
1 Thessalonians 4:13 (VOICE)

Whether our grief is triggered by muddy sandals, Cream of Tartar, or any other item, task, or circumstance, as believers in Jesus Christ, we do not grieve as those without hope! We know the One who is our Hope!

God, guide us to You when the burden of grief weighs us down. Our

“… hope is in You all day long”
Psalm 25:5 (NIV)

Amen.