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I will freely sacrifice to You;
I will praise Your name, O Lord, for it is good.
Psalm 54:6 (NKJV)

The things we hold on to for dear life.

Married to my husband, Steve, for forty-four years, there were just things you did out of habits formed in those years.

When company was coming, you got things ready. In every place we lived throughout our marriage, Steve always kept our yard beautiful. It was truly a beautiful work of art – and hard work.

Until after the fire that destroyed our home, and we moved to our land, I was never much help out in the yard. But things changed when we bought fifty acres. I discovered a real love for mowing and found that it was very therapeutic to get on that beautiful, orange mower and travel about three acres every time it needed mowing.

At one time, we had two mowers. One particular day, it was a joint effort mowing our place. Not paying much attention to where Steve was, I suddenly realized he had stopped and was just watching me. I rode over to him and asked, “What?”

He shook his head and answered, “Kathy, there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to how you do things.”

Some things haven’t changed at all.

Steve taught me so much about what it took to do the job right. Just mowing never achieved that finished look. Weed whacking was required. He NEVER did the mowing without the weed whacking to finish the job.

And then one day, in an instant, everything changed.

Early on a hot July morning in 2016, my Steve suffered a massive heart attack, and I lost my best friend, the father of our children, my protector, storm-watcher – the one who loved me the most this side of Heaven.

And suddenly the picture changed.

The job assignment changed hands. That July, I stood looking out at what was beautiful in my eyes just days before. The look of the whole world had changed. It was now broken and incomplete.

The beautiful, finished puzzle had been destroyed as that one piece was removed.

Today, when I open my door and walk out, I don’t see the result of the five hours of mowing it takes or the hours I’ve spent holding up that heavy weed whacker. My mind goes to what still needs to be done. I quickly look past the beauty and find the unfinished, the missing piece of the perfect picture.

The job was hard when I took it on at 62 years of age. At 70, I am faced with the reality that I will not be able to keep up this desperate attempt to bring my world back to order. I will not find that missing puzzle piece that will make my world perfect again — with the look of that lawn.

The truth is – the picture was never perfect even when Steve was in it with me.

Surrender or Sacrifice?

The difference between surrender and sacrifice is as follows:

• Surrender: Letting go of control and submitting to a higher power or purpose.
• Sacrifice: Giving up something valuable or important for a greater cause or purpose. (Biblestudytools.com)

A CALL TO SURRENDER

In April, I attended my fourth AWM conference. The Lord has used every conference to not only bring sweet comfort and healing, but He has always opened my heart to things He has been trying to show me.

As the team gathered, our worship leader brought decals for us. I chose one and placed it on a beautiful mug we were given by another team member.

The message on my decal…

There is Freedom in Surrender

As widows, there is so much we have had to surrender. Our dreams for the future, retirement shared with our husbands. Some have had to surrender that important parent to their children.

Surrender is hard.

I remember a song I learned when I was a child in church.

All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

When Surrender is part of God’s plan.

Let’s go back to the beginning – to Genesis with God and Abram. Genesis 12:1-2,4 (NKJV)

Promises to Abram

Now the Lord had said to Abram:

“Get out of your country,
From your family
And from your father’s house,
To a land that I will show you.
I will make you a great nation;
I will bless you
And make your name great;
And you shall be a blessing.

So Abram departed as the Lord had spoken to him, and Lot went with him. And Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran.

Abram was called to surrender a great deal – much more than mowing a yard!

You might wonder, “What is so important about mowing a yard?” Or maybe, you understand completely. Surrender is still hard — whatever we are called to ‘lay down’.

God has not told us that He will make a great nation out of our surrender to Him or by me giving up the desperate attempt to right my world by the look of the lawn.

But He has promised to bless our obedience to Him.

The Lord and I will figure out this yard thing. It is an easy thing for Him. He has a plan and a purpose that is calling for surrender.

Abram did what the Lord asked of him, and he went – in obedience.

And like Abram, God is not finished with me yet. He is only calling for my surrender and obedience.

I have done hard things. I can do this one too.

Offer the sacrifices of righteousness,
And put your trust in the Lord.
Psalm 4:5 (NKJV)

Dear Heavenly Father, please give us the strength to surrender all to You. Help us to trust that what You have begun in us, You will perfect it unto the day of Christ Jesus. Amen