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If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Matthew 7:11 NIV

A few months following my husband’s death, I was fighting back the sorrow and struggling to stay focused at work when God showed up in some pretty amazing ways. It started with a song that reminded me that my strength comes from Him and that He has me on His shoulders and is pulling me through! I was not alone in my struggle. From that point on, my focus became…focused!

Sadly, my heart was still extremely heavy.

It seemed everything was a reminder that Vic wasn’t with me anymore.

Struggling with the depth of my sorrow, it felt like I didn’t trust God but I did. I understood the Eternal Perspective, and I knew I would see him again. Yet that day, it wasn’t enough. All I wanted was him, sitting in the car seat beside me, or in the lawn chair next to me at the ballfield watching our grandson play baseball. I wanted him there to tell me I was going to be ok.

On the way home, I thought about who I could call and talk to. Unfortunately, I knew way too many women that could relate to what I was feeling. But I knew that wasn’t the answer. Instead, I needed to depend on God.

I needed to allow Him to soothe my aching heart and learn to trust Him as my husband.

As a result, I decided I would not call anyone. Instead, I sat on my back stoop, pouring out my heart to God. First, I reassured Him that I knew He was with me and would take care of me.

But tonight I just needed to hear Vic tell me he loved me.

As I finished, I thought since I was already a mess emotionally this would be a good night to listen to the recording of Vic’s service, which had just been emailed to me that evening by our close friend who had performed his service. Opening my email on my phone, I noticed a PS to his first email. I opened it and read:

“PS…Though I didn’t make much of a point of it at the funeral, Vic ABSOLUTELY LOVED YOU. You asked me at the funeral if he ever spoke about you … you bet he did! You were the one who fought for that man’s heart & he knew it.”

I sobbed tears of joy, gratefulness, and ABSOLUTE AWE at God. As I read it over and over again I couldn’t believe what I was reading. God heard my cry, and He wasted no time in sending me a response.

I don’t know if I have ever received a clearer message from heaven.

It was more than just the “I Love You” from Vic…it was also an “I Love You” from God. As a result, I am learning what it looks like to allow God to be my husband. I needed Vic to talk to that night, but all I could do was talk to God–and that was the best thing I could have done! He listened and He did what a good husband would do.

He loved his bride with compassion and a little gift in an email.

Thank You, Father, for being a good husband who loves His children with compassion and good gifts. Help us to pour out our hearts to You, trusting You to meet all of our needs. Amen