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The absence of the person who chose you to be their other half can leave you empty and lonely. For me, my grief began almost five years ago. Still, I remember the struggles of the loss of Bill. Some mornings I would wake up to my alarm beeping and my vision would focus on my cell phone to verify the date and day of the week. I needed a reminder that God could provide strength to face another day. I needed answers for decisions, and comfort as I battled the sadness. I would reach for a notecard with this verse on it.

For the eyes of the Lord roam throughout the earth, so that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.
2 Chronicles 16:9 (NASB)

I wanted my heart to be completely His. In those moments it was a struggle to start the day and remember who I serve. To be where I am in grief as a widow can at times require more strength than I seem to have in that moment. The loss of a spouse can define you if you let it. It is important to remember that God is in the details. God has loved me and drawn me closer to Himself. I have felt His presence and His power when there was nothing but emptiness and pain. Fortunately, the Lord has provided His word and His presence to each of us.

I often still read and reflect on that verse. It keeps me aware that God actively seeks us out. He provides what we need in the moment we need it. The Lord took me by the hand, and strengthened my faith, as I walked through this valley of loss. He continues to strongly support me as I look to Him for hope and direction. The Lord is there to enable us to face the next ten minutes or the next decision.

His plans and His purpose rescue me from myself.

It would be easy to let fear control us. Pain narrows our vision. It encourages us to think of ourselves. Because God is God, and we are human, our emotions and frailties glare in comparison to the steadfast immovable nature of the Lord. The gospel has the power to rescue believers from their own selves. Knowing Jesus has overcome the world brings such hope. God knows we are unable to manage and overcome this world without Him. He wants us to be strong and courageous and to remember He is with us.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

This verse applies to all of us, not just to Joshua. God is always with us wherever we go. The success of Joshua’s mission was not in question. God had said earlier in 1:2, “Arise, cross the Jordan, you and all these people, to the land which I am giving to them.” The success of our mission and God’s will is not in question either.

No matter the situation, God can bring beauty from the ashes of our loss.

To prevent getting stuck in our grief, or the situation we see before us, we need strength. To find strength for the difficult moments, ask the Lord for renewed strength. Prayer provides the bridge to allow us to dialogue with the Lord. I find God changes my heart as I ask for strength and invite Him into the process of finding His plan for the day.

When God is invited into the process, His presence provides the power to get past my situation and the clarity to focus on the BIGGER picture. Too often I cannot see beyond myself or my need without the Lord’s eyes. When I refocus with a heart that is completely His, I find hope and even joy.

Joy that can endure hardship and trials.

Joy that connects meaning with purpose.

Joy as a reminder of the eternal nature of the Lord.

The joy of the Lord is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10 (ESV)

Lord,

We come to You with a heart completely Yours. We need Your presence. We need Your strength and long to find joy in the midst of our brokenness and loss. Provide us the courage to face decisions and provide us wisdom to clarify Your path forward for each of us. May we grow in the knowledge of Your word and always remember You are there with us as we praise and glorify You. In Jesus Name, Amen.