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I occasionally look back over my journaling to see how things have changed over time and what I have learned along the way. This is a journal entry from four years ago that really speaks to my heart about God’s faithfulness. He has brought me through so much, and He has loved me deeply every step of the way. I pray this will encourage you today and remind you, He is faithful and loving!

God is my strong fortress
and He makes my way perfect.
2 Samuel 22:33 (NLT)

OVERWHELMED.

I have a confession to make. I have felt overwhelmed more days than not since I lost my husband five years ago. This week I finally had a major breakthrough. Or so I thought.

Day after day I struggled with feeling overwhelmed:

• with grief from my husband’s death
• by the two years of court cases related to his death that followed
• in trying to do my job and manage a household by myself
• by a call into a new ministry
• with a move to a new city
• by my father’s death and handling his estate
• caring for my grandchildren two days a week
• with household repairs, paying taxes, managing finances
• trying to find the time needed to get things done

Being overwhelmed started to lead to despair.

Despair was starting to sink in last week as more and more things piled up. Something had to change! I finally decided to try a new approach to handling my time. I am an avid technology user, chronically addicted to my electronic calendar and to-do list for over thirty years. But my system didn’t seem to be working anymore. I finally decided to add a new step to my process. I am now using a paper weekly calendar to prioritize and to schedule time to complete each task, carefully crossing them off when finished.

Trust me, I have read all the time management books –this is definitely not a revolutionary change. But to my surprise, I soon discovered it had an amazing impact on my week. Not only did I accomplish more things but also, for the first time in five years, I felt the feelings of being overwhelmed begin to subside. I could breathe again. I could relax. There are still a daunting number of tasks ahead of me. Let’s face it – it is much harder to do life without a partner. But my whole attitude shifted as I recognized the progress I had made.

Oh, how I love to take credit for my “great” ideas.

Was it that simple? Had I finally figured out the system that would solve all of my problems? Fortunately, I was reminded how quickly I fall for that lie every time. If I just had the “magic” pill or “miracle” system, everything would be all right. If I just worked harder or smarter, life would be easier. And then I get trapped into thinking “this” is finally the answer.

What a limited perspective we have. But all along the way, God was working on me, and eventually, I began to see with His eyes. You see, this week isn’t when I finally figured it out. It wasn’t this week and it wasn’t me. God is the one who puts order to my steps and makes my way perfect. He is the one who has provided every blessing over the last five years that has helped me continue to move forward. It took Him to get me to where I am today.

He is the One who deserves the praise and the glory. Not me. When I remember it’s Him not me, the feelings of being overwhelmed disappear completely – because He is God. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Great I Am, Our Redeemer, Our Savior, the Lord Almighty. He is the Creator of the heavens and the earth. He is sovereign over everything. He is not, and never will be, overwhelmed. What a difference it makes to have a God-focused perspective!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for loving us and putting order to our steps. Help us to see that it is You who is at work in our lives, and it is You who deserves the honor and glory! Amen.