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When my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer we immediately lost his income. While he eventually received disability social security, we had many months when we weren’t sure how we were going to make ends meet. My income would pay the bills but there would be nothing left for gas, home heating fuel, food, or any extras we would need due to his illness. We had no idea what our hospital bills would be or how we would pay them.

God provided abundantly!

My family organized a fundraiser, gift cards and donations filled our mailbox, and meals were provided for months.

One day as I was reviewing the whole of our journey from diagnosis to death, I realized that God had been providing long before we ever had an inkling of what was ahead. About a year before my husband got sick he decided we needed to make some major home improvements. At the time, they seemed like good sound plans to upgrade our home’s efficiency and value. Now I realize that God knew what was ahead and was making it all happen while my husband could supervise and do some of the work himself.

Our needs were always met by the Lord just when we needed them. And that gives me great encouragement now as I walk through widowhood.

I wish I could say that I trusted Him without worry or doubt from that point on, but I would be lying.

I am reminded of the question Jesus asked in the Sermon on the Mount.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Luke 12:25 (NIV)

Let me tell you I have tried and it doesn’t work! LOL!

All I got was hands tired from wringing them together, a headache from overthinking, and sleepless nights.

Worrying accomplished nothing!

When I think about why I worry, I am convicted that it’s because I don’t trust that He will provide. I make God small and elevate myself. In essence, I am saying “I don’t think God is going to come through so I need to find a solution.”

One of my favorite scriptures since becoming a widow is Psalm 146:9 (NIV)

The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow

Webster’s Dictionary defines sustain as giving strength and support; to provide what is needed; to carry or bring.

My trust in Him is strengthened by this verse, which assures me that He will support, strengthen and provide for all my needs.

Paul trusted in the promises that God would provide.

We know from his testimony in his letter to the Philippians that he knew what it was to be in need as well as to have plenty. But he learned the secret to contentment. He knew it was God in him who gave him the strength to accept whatever God brought to him. He trusted that God would sustain him.

If we go back to the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus reminds us that we are much more valuable to God than the flowers that he adorns so beautifully, or the birds which he feeds generously without their need to store up food.

Jesus wraps it up with this encouragement

Do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ The pagans run after all these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Matthew 6:31-34 (NIV)

God’s promise to us is that if we will seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, then all the other things will be given to us as well.

Though I may still worry, God is always faithful to refocus my faith by reminding me of the many times He has been faithful to provide in the past.

If you are like me, let me encourage you to keep a journal or a little notebook to write down each time God provides for you. Then when doubts and worries threaten to steal your joy or God’s timing is not your timing, flip it open and remind yourself of God’s promise to provide in the future by looking back at his faithfulness.

Dear Lord, I ask that You remind us daily, momentarily even, of Your faithfulness to provide for us. May we trust You in the dark times of widowhood and when we are tempted to worry, remind us of the birds and the lilies.