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I laid there, angrily, wondering why I had to worry that my child could close his eyes and stop breathing. That food could kill him.

My son, Ty, has life-threatening food allergies and anaphylaxis. He had eaten crab one evening, which he tested negative for any allergies and had eaten it before. But if you’ve experienced food allergies, you know that you’re more susceptible to developing others.

As I walked out of his room that night, I heard him cough. “Why did you cough? Wait, your throat feels scratchy?” I asked.

I decided I should stay with him for a bit. “How long should I lie next to him?” I thought. I did for hours, checking his breath, what felt like, every minute. My mind raced with all of the terrible “what ifs”… I felt anxious and out of control. If you know me, you know I LOVE to be in control.

As time went on, the phrase “God loves your child more than you do” popped into my head. That’s when I began to pray for protection over my son. I knew that the Lord was in control. He always is!

As I continued to pray, it reminded me of the many feelings we experience throughout widowhood – worry, anxiety, fear of the future and so many more. I was reminded of the Lord’s faithfulness through losing my husband, Michael, and of God’s never-ending love, mercy, and sovereignty (as I need it every day).

Whether it’s fear for ourselves or our children through our journey of widowhood, or any other circumstance, the Lord reminds us of His truth:

Do not be afraid.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4 (NIV)

I will calm your fears.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4 (NIV)

…say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution, he will come to save you.”
Isaiah 35:4 (NIV)

Do not worry.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? (This was one of Michael’s favorite verses!)
Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV)

I will ease your anxiety.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Another one of Michael’s favorites!)
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

I am in control.

He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
Psalm 23:3 (NIV)

You are my daughter.

And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.
2 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV)

I have great plans for you.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.
Psalm 33:11 (NIV)

After much prayer, I finally fell asleep. I woke at 3 a.m. to find my precious boy just fine. The Lord wants us to come to him with all of our fear and worries. In fact, He tells us to do just that… And though our prayers aren’t always answered when and how we want them to be, let us remember that the Lord is in control and He is always working for His glory and our good.

Lord, our earthly minds tend to be fearful and anxious. This journey of widowhood can be treacherous. Ease all of our anxieties. We often forget, so remind us that You are in control and have a purpose and plan for our lives. Thank You for Your love, mercy and sovereignty. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.