{{item.title | uppercase}}

…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8 (ESV)

Do you find yourself so fed up with life as a widow that you wring your hands and shout, “WhatEVER!”?

That exasperated “WhatEVER” is my signal I’ve swallowed the enemy’s bate, hook—line and sinker. With emphasis on the sinker!

Because that’s what happens when my mind tries to tangle with the struggles of grief without God’s help.

I remember a year into my widow’s journey feeling the enemy whisper his invitation to a pity party…

It’s Friday night, Kit. You’re alone—again. Did you ever think your life would be like this? Who wants to hang around a widow? Not the friend who never returned your call last week. And when you were really beside yourself with grief, why did you have to tell those ladies at the church? Face it, Kit, you’re a blubbering lonely woman who’s stuck at home raising kids by herself!

Yep—that was me, in spite of my generally upbeat nature. Don’t let pretty Facebook photos fool you. I too, would occasionally get knocked down and wonder, was I down for the count?

But I always got up. Here’s how: I recognized the enemy’s trap. He lures you into his game of negativity. Stop playing his game and start playing God’s game where He holds all the cards and always wins.

Take each of the whatever’s in Philippians 4:8—whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever Is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable and apply it to a truth about your situation.

Make that verse and your positive truths the focus of your prayer and meditation. For example, here’s how God’s whatever’s looked in my situation:

Whatever is true:

• God never left my side and put many people in my life so that I would not be alone. I purposefully recalled specific occasions of people spending time with me to reinforce this truth.
• Widowhood isn’t, in itself, a rejection. My husband’s love can remain with me forever.

Whatever is honorable:

• Many have honored me with their kindness and acts of service.
• The heart behind their actions reflects honor to God Himself.

Whatever is just:

• It’s completely fair and just that other women have husbands.
• I praise God they aren’t having to deal with losing that man in their life.

Whatever is pure:

• Purity is a gift from God.
• I thank Him for walking me through times of temptation and his forgiveness when temptation gets the best of any of us.

Whatever is lovely:

• My kids with all of their quirks and imperfections are completely lovely. God protected them through this grief.
• My environment is lovely—the town I live in, the comfortable home, my car in good working condition, our country where I’m free to worship and make decisions for myself.
• In all of my shortcomings and imperfections I’m lovely. I have my health and the many talents God gave me (I focused on each one).

Whatever is commendable:

• Many were there for me in spite of my tears, defensiveness, and walls I put up.
• Many are in far worse positions than I, yet show the same fruits from the same Holy Spirit that are available to me.

Journal about these whatever’s in your situation and use what you learn as you pray. Find a quiet place or go on a walk and repeat your six “whatever’s” over and over.

As you notice peace slowly reentering your soul and gratitude taking over, take in a deep breath and release it.

Then say, “whatever”—God’s way.

Lord,

Would you help the woman reading this prayer right now receive Your gift of peace through prayer and meditation? Show her what’s true, honorable, just, pure, lovely and commendable in her life. Amen.