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I have a confession to make… I don’t usually make resolutions. But this year is different.

Do you make New Year’s resolutions?

One source defines it as:

“A resolve to change an undesirable trait, or to meet a goal for the New Year.”

As I write this, I mourn with a dear friend who joined our ranks last night. She faces the first of many unknowns as a widow in this New Year; the reality is she had no control over how the past year ended. Only God knew.

Simply acknowledging that God knows the future versus understanding that He alone HOLDS the future can look vastly different before and after loss.

James 4:13-16 instructs us not to boast about what we will do tomorrow, except as the Lord wills.

For many of us, experiencing our great loss forced us for the first time to see we are not in control of how our lives play out. I know in my case, I did not fully recognize before my loss that I took planning the future for granted. That future changed in an instant when my husband died.

Now, I hold plans loosely and cherish each moment.

Concern for my friend today throws me back to my own “firsts” just as it does every time someone I know begins this journey. I want to spare her the pain of the process, yet I know I cannot. She must face all these unknowns just as I did, just as you did. And through all of the firsts, seconds, and going forward, God will meet her in the midst of her fear of the unknown, as He met each one of us.

The One who holds the future is faithful!

One passage of Scripture that helped me most as I struggled through the first year of widowhood allowed me to acknowledge my weakness rather than expect more strength than I had to give.

“Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
Romans 8:26-28 (ESV)

This sixth New Year since the passing of my husband brings yet another time when I am asking the Spirit to intercede, because it is the best I can do for my friend. God alone knows what she needs. He will bring her a comfort beyond anything she can imagine.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
2 Corinthians 1:2-4 (ESV)

This reminder prompts my New Year’s resolution.

As we pass into 2018, I resolve to:

• minister to my friend to the best of my ability
• cover her in prayer and Scripture
• be available to listen to her, encourage her, and help her navigate this painful journey, in whatever way I can assist her.
• I resolve not only to minister to her, but to other widows God puts in my path.

Maybe you are far enough along in your own journey to recognize your need for a similar resolve to minister to others this coming year? Who better to encourage other widows to have faith in the One who sustains us, than those of us He has faithfully sustained?

Father, every day we are joined by women who begin this widow walk. Those of us who are further along recognize the beauty of bonds that form through the friendships of women at different stages of grief. These are blessings from You. Please help us to recognize the needs of others and to respond as You would give us opportunity. Amen.