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You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Isaiah 55:12 (NIV)

Spring had finally sprung here in my hometown.

A riot of color had burst forth, first from the Bradford Pears and then from the Cherry trees. Beauty everywhere…except my little cherry tree in the yard.

Oh, she had plenty of buds. But nothing had opened yet. We had had some warm days, so I expected her to open, but she just hadn’t. The other evening I was staring out the front window pondering this. I am not sure what was so poignant about her standing there ready to bud, but it was. I was so moved by her standing there bud-filled but bloomless that I nearly took a picture.

The next morning, as the sun began to rise, I glanced out the window and could tell, even in the half-light of a dawning day, that she had bloomed overnight. Just like that.

As the sun continued to rise, I watched my little tree and saw that nearly all those buds I had seen the day before had sprung open. This time, I did take a picture:

How like my cherry tree am I!

In this season of life, I often feel all buds and no bloom.

I have grieved fully and well these past five and a half years. I am sure I have more grieving to do (I don’t know that I will be ever totally done), but for now, I am striding forward as Liz Anne and no longer as Keith’s widow.

I feel as though I am ready for new and more things, the next phase of my life. But God, in His infinite wisdom, knows when the best time for my next phase is.

I had a conversation with a dear friend the other night, and she said that sometimes she is itching to start some new phase in her life to God’s glory, but has to wait a while to get the clearance from Him to get started. Like my budding tree, she sits and anticipates the spring, but with no bursting forth of direction. Then…suddenly…all the pieces fall into place and God is ready for her to act. Again like my little tree, she bursts forth to shine for His glory.

This is how I am choosing to view this season in my life…the dormancy before the spring bloom. God knows when I will burst forth. And I pray that as I face each situation, I will trust in Him to know my perfect time to bloom.

In the myriad of decisions I now face alone, it is good to know that I do not have to have all the answers.

Living in expectancy isn’t always easy, but the fruit of waiting on the Lord, even in the new phases of this widow journey, will make it worth it.

Lord, some days are hard to wait on You. I know You have the perfect plan and will reveal all the pieces of my new life when the time is right. Give me the strength to wait on You in all the areas of this widow walk. Give me the strength to take on the new challenges as they come and the strength to hold on when change is hard. I trust You, Lord, to keep Your promises about providing me with hope and a future. Thank You for loving me enough to walk with me through this journey.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.