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How do you feel when the gifts are unwrapped and the season of celebrating Jesus passes? Since losing my husband, January and the opening of another year causes me to feel vulnerable and insecure. It is as though my emotions are unwrapped, and my feelings lie visible to everyone as I navigate each moment when the new year arrives. As I remove the tinsel and shining balls from the tree, my heart floods with memories and I am overwhelmed with setting goals and making decisions for my future.

It has been 6 New Year celebrations since Bill arrived in heaven. Now I recognize this pattern I fall into emotionally. It is important to remember that emotions are on “high alert” this time of year. Added time commitments can cause stress to surface. Each celebration has been different, and my heart has learned to manage the grief better. The end of a year signifies progress in many ways as I have traveled through this valley of loss. I can find joy in sweet moments and connect with others to share in welcoming new opportunities. Yet January never arrives without reminding me of unfinished tasks and goals that were unmet. Suddenly I can be overwhelmed and struggle to know where to start with an empty calendar and a new year arriving.

Delight yourself in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4 (ESV)

My thoughts become focused on how to fill this time in front of me. It seems I find more questions than answers. Really it is a question of setting a plan for daily life. I have choices and options to follow new dreams and see where God leads me. This year I want to acknowledge the truth of God’s love and recognize His presence in each day. God’s word centers me on the truth.

As a widow it would be easy to use the challenges that come with loss to prevent me from serving the Lord. Yet scripture is filled with many people that were broken and poor and faithful that Jesus used for accomplishing His purposes. Moses saw a burning bush and was used by God even though he was a murderer. Naomi was a widow loved by God and used to bring Jesus to us through her family. Gideon was a fearful farmer doubting his abilities and God’s presence. Yet he was called by God to lead Israel against its enemies. Esther was a courageous woman who spoke to King Xerxes of Persia to ask him to spare the lives of the Jewish people.

God uses imperfect people for the sake of His mission to bring hope to the world. He uses us where we are. In Him we find renewal, mending and purpose. No matter what we have been through in life, the same power that conquered the grave lives within us. When there appears to be too much facing me, there is a verse I cling to in Proverbs.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
Do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will direct your path.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

As I bring my need to the Lord and acknowledge the struggle to move forward, I can pray for wisdom to find His will and purpose for each day, each week and each month. I need a “to-do” list to accomplish anything. Some people need to just start out and accomplish one thing and then they can move forward. Others need the support of a friend to jump start their plans. Whatever your struggle, know that God provides hope. God provides opportunities. God provides His direction.

Allow Him to speak to your heart and allow Him to direct your actions. Seek to serve and find His purpose for the days of 2025. Fill your calendar for January and the year with purposeful living and a powerful walk with Jesus.

Lord,

We come to You at the beginning of a new year. We are searching for Your plans and Your purpose for our lives. Give us clarity of thought and wisdom as we fill our days this year. Let us serve You with our whole heart. Strengthen our faith and provide the daily support and encouragement we need.

In Jesus Name, Amen.