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“I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my
Psalm 34:1 (NIV)

After four years of being without Ryan during the Holidays, I realized my body recognized the changing calendar more than I did.

It was almost like an allergy to the months of November and December. I was busy teaching and running my business, and if you had asked me how we were doing, I would have said just fine. However, every year, I was exhausted all the time. I didn’t really want to leave the house. Also, social interactions were really hard, especially if there were more than two people.

Last year was an unbelievable disaster.

Our wedding anniversary is in November, and last year would have been our 25th. I wanted to keep busy, so I volunteered to help a local church serve during a Holiday themed dinner for a grief support group. My well-meaning attempt to do something impactful and active on that day backfired, though. I ended up having a meltdown in front of strangers.

They were very kind and gracious to me, but I realized that I was not handling these significant events effectively.

It’s easy for me to get caught up in the “busyness” of the Holidays.

Combined with avoiding things that make me sad, it’s a perfect breeding ground for my “grief allergies.”

I have been praying about this upcoming season, hoping to get through it better than last year. I asked God, “How do I get through these holidays? What do we (as widows) do to survive these celebrations meant for being with loved ones when we can’t BE with our LOVED one?”

I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to me the most obvious answer – “worship Me, and take comfort in Me.”

In all my worrying and fretting about an upcoming day that may or may not be horrible, and how I would manage to keep it together, I was overlooking the very foundations of my faith. Worship my Savior; praise His Holy name. Then take comfort in His presence- all that He is, and all He has done.

In Psalm 34, David exclaims,

“I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.”
Psalm 34:1 (NIV)

David knew that no matter what was happening around him, praising the Lord was essential to his well-being.

In fact, several times throughout the Bible, worship is used as a weapon against the enemy. Worshipping God takes our focus off of ourselves and our circumstances. As we meditate on His word through praise, we remember His character and all He has done.

The second part of His instructions were to take comfort in Him.

In Isaiah 43: 1-2 (NIV), the Lord tells the people of Israel,

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

The first thing God reminds Israel in this verse is that He has redeemed them.

That is the most important part of all. I know Ryan is in Heaven because Jesus redeemed him, and He redeemed me as well! I take comfort in knowing that.

As I walk through our anniversary, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, I will face the rising waters, the rushing rivers, and flames of grief. Undoubtedly, some memory will try to drown me or sweep me away, but God promises that He will be there with me. He promises that the flames will not set me ablaze. I take great comfort in knowing that He will be with me – on every drive, at every gathering, for every meal, with every celebration.

As we prepare for these days that are bittersweet, I will slow down and remember the only two things I need to do.

I will praise His name every day, and I will take comfort in Him.

And that’s all I need to worry about.

Sweet Sister, I hope that as you go about your busy tasks of preparing for the Holidays – planning, prepping, shopping, and decorating – that you will worship the Lord with all your heart. Sing praises of His faithfulness or listen to worship music that reminds you of His love.

Then remember to take comfort in Him. He is with you. He will not let you drown or be swept away, nor will you be burned by the flames.

Dear Lord, help us to remember that we belong to You. You have redeemed us through your son Jesus, and you have called us by name. When we feel anxious about the upcoming holiday season, remind us to praise You while we work, and take comfort in You while we grieve. Amen.