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“A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,”
Ecclesiastes 3:4 ESV

As I was driving to work this morning, I looked into the window of a local roofing business. There I saw a tall, lovely and well lit — Christmas tree? Wait a minute, it’s still November. November is the month of giving thanks and sharing a meal together, not scrambling to buy gifts to put under a tree. November is oranges and reds and the beauty of fall, not a snow filled winter wonderland. On social media I have seen more and more people posting pictures of a roaring fire, their beautiful Christmas tree, and hot cocoa in hand. Some even started asking in October if it was too early to break out the Christmas music. I am not anti-Christmas by any means but I can’t help but wonder what happened to Thanksgiving? Why do people want to skip this holiday in favor of the holiday that they enjoy more?

Grief can definitely feel at times like a muddled mess of emotions, but there are certainly defined stages so to speak.

Denial, anger, depression, acceptance are all normal roads we have to travel on the journey through grief. As a new widow, I can’t help but feel a paradox where people think I am getting through each stage either too quickly or not quickly enough. If I am dealing with a season of anger for many weeks, people seem to act like I should just “get over it” already. Yet if I am having a relatively good day, people look at you as if you should be over in a corner sobbing your eyes out. It can, at times, feel like a no-win situation.

In the Bible it talks about how there is a season and a time for everything.

It mentions there’s a time to weep and a time to laugh. Many times for me there has been a temptation to rush through a certain stage or season of grief a little too quickly because it is painful and I’m ready to get through it. It’s important to remember that each feeling and stage is normal. We do ourselves a disservice by wanting to shy away from the pain. We must press into it, and feel it deeply before we can truly move forward.

While you don’t want to mourn for an unhealthy amount of time, the truth is, no one’s grief journey is the same. If you are encountering one season that requires more attention than others, that’s fine. If you find yourself in the anger stage much longer than the denial stage, that’s fine too. Take each season as it comes, bring your wounds to Jesus, and let Him heal you in His time.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time…”
Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV

As much as we may be longing to get to the “December” part of our grief, it is important to remember God is working and moving in the “November” season as well. Let Jesus lead you from strength to strength, while finding purpose and meaning in each and every season of this incredibly difficult journey.

As for me, I am going to take this month to give thanks, be with those I love, and eat a wonderful meal together. The Christmas tree can wait a little while longer.

Dear Jesus, thank You that You are with me during every stage of this journey. I thank You that Your mercies are new every morning and in every season of my pain. I thank You that I do not walk alone through each season, for You are my strength and my guide. Help me take each season as it comes knowing that You are making everything beautiful in Your time. Amen