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I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting on my back stoop contemplating what to do on my day off. It was early in my grief journey and motivation was a battle I fought daily. I had slept in way longer than I should have and my to-do list was even longer. Grief was like a stranglehold choking the little bit of life I had in me.

I was struggling to find a purpose in life without my husband.

Suddenly out of the blue a beautiful bright orange and black Monarch butterfly fluttered around in front of me. I had not seen one so brilliantly colored before. It was like I was looking at it through a camera lens with a high setting of color and vibrancy. In awe of its beauty, I watched that butterfly flutter and fly in front of me as though it had no care in the world. I thought to myself how wonderful it would be to be as carefree as that butterfly. I immediately felt God’s presence in my spirit saying to me…”I am turning you into a beautiful butterfly. This is your metamorphosis.”

I was intrigued, to say the least, and took to reading all I could about a butterfly’s journey from a caterpillar to a butterfly and how it applied to me as a widow.

I discovered I had a lot to learn from this thing called metamorphosis!

The butterfly’s entry into the world begins as an egg so small you almost need a microscope to see it. As I thought about the correlation, I considered the egg stage as my ‘birthing’ into widowhood.

From that egg, a caterpillar is birthed.

Do you know that a caterpillar typically travels less than thirty feet in its lifetime? Sounds like the first six to twelve months of grief, doesn’t it?

The sole purpose of the caterpillar is to eat! Sounds good, doesn’t it? Who wouldn’t like a life purpose like that? But its eating is not for sheer pleasure. A caterpillar must eat and store enough food to grow strong to support the change it is going to face in the next stage of life.

If you are in that early caterpillar stage of grief, it’s a fight for survival.

I get it! Every day was, and sometimes still is, a struggle just to get out of bed. If it wasn’t for my job and family, I may never have crawled out of bed. I relied on God to just put two feet on the floor. My morning mantra was “Lord, give me strength.” At night, I fed on His word to strengthen me and give me hope for the next day. God was always faithful to lead me to the correct table in His dining room!

Your words were found, and I ate them,
and your words became to me a joy
and the delight of my heart,
for I am called by your name,
O Lord, God of hosts.
Jeremiah 15:16 (ESV)

There is so much benefit in a daily diet of God’s Word.

Ephesians 6:17 tells us to take up the sword of the spirit which is the Word of God. It is our only offensive weapon against the enemy, Satan. I don’t know about you but when I am at my weakest, I am fair game for him. He pummels my thoughts with all sorts of lies.

If we aren’t daily feeding our spirit with God’s truth we are going to lose the battle in our minds.

Along with Bible reading, memorizing scripture is also important. We will not always be near our Bible to look up verses to wield off Satan.

Let me ask you a few closing questions:

Do you have a daily diet of God’s word? Does God’s Word bring you joy and delight in your heart? Are you memorizing scripture so you can stand against the enemy?

Next article I will explore the next stage in the butterfly’s metamorphosis, the chrysalis. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, grab your favorite drink (coffee, tea, or Pepsi) and pull up a chair to the banquet table of His Word. If we only feast upon it, we’ll find strength.

How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Psalm 119:103 (ESV)

Lord, You invite us to the banquet table of Your word by name and we thank You. Grant us a hunger for Your word and may they become the joy and delight of our heart. Guide us to the words to feed on that our spirit will be strengthened for the journey ahead of us as we walk through the shadowed valley. Amen