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“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”
Lamentations 3:25 ESV
Waiting rooms are no fun!
I am not a fan of sitting or waiting for my name to be called.
In general I don’t like to wait. I am not a very patient person.
Yet, I find myself in a season of waiting right now.
I am in the, “God-has-me waiting room.”
But, this “waiting room” has many doors. As I stand and look around at all the doors, I see just one that’s locked. There are many more that SEEM inviting, and they’re not locked!
When I open the unlocked doors, I see my past. Some doors open wide, and inside the images are vast, deep and extremely meaningful. Many of those doors are from my life with my late husband.
Precious memories and longings that still exist from the life I had.
Other unlocked doors give glimpses of smaller parts of my life. Some contain images of broken or lost friendships. Others reveal men that I’ve met over the last six years; men I thought might be my “next chapter”. Others are glimpses of past sins I know I’ve laid at the Cross, but they seem to still be there when I open that door.
Sometimes, I stand staring at the ONE locked door.
See, that door is my future. But unlike my past, I don’t get glimpses behind it. I can’t crack it open or even open it wide and check out what’s going on behind there.
Lately, I find myself opening lots of the unlocked doors. Looking back with longing, bitterness or even regret. I’m in a season of “waiting” right now. And as I wait for that big beautiful door of the future to be unlocked I get impatient. Instead of trusting, believing and seeking, I go back and open the other doors.
When I do, I start to lose sight of what is and try to cling tightly to what was or what might have been. I start to doubt and question God, because He’s had me waiting in this season “too long”.
As I was doing some research recently, I came across an article that outlined all the great faithful people from the Bible that God made wait. The list was impressive and humbling.
Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Noah, David, Abraham, and yes… even Jesus.
If He made these great, influential, faithful people wait, then why in the world would little ol’ me think I’m too good to wait?
I was reminded there’s great purpose in the wait. God can grow me, transform me, teach me, protect me, and prepare me if I’m willing to trust Him, focus on Him and serve Him while I wait.
I was also reminded that I’ll never get the key to unlock that future door if I’m still clinging too tightly to all the keys of the doors of my past.
So, today as I sit in the ‘God-has-me waiting’ room I am convicted to shift my focus to the One who’s brought me this far.
I will strive to keep my eyes on Him.
I’m choosing to let go of the desire to get a few last peeks at the past. He’s convicted me I can’t prepare for what’s ahead if I’m trying to carry or focus on what’s behind me.
I wait. Yet, I will no longer look around at the many unlocked doors or even focus on the one locked door.
Instead, I’ll look up and seek God in my waiting.
Father God, waiting is hard stuff. I am so impatient. Thank You for knowing me and still loving me. Help me to trust You in this waiting room. Grow me and draw me nearer to You. Reveal to me all You have for me, prepare my heart and mind, so I am ready for what You have next for me. Lord, thank You for being right with me while I wait. In Your matchless name, amen.