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She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.
1 Timothy 5:5-6 ESV

Widow

Did you despise the word the first time you heard it applied to you?

Were you repulsed by the classification?

The word is kind of a “show stopper”, so to speak. When you’re asked about your husband and you respond with this word, the crickets can often be heard in the background! The conversation comes to a screeching halt.

Widow Care

God made special laws concerning widows and their care by the Hebrew people. In the early days of the church, the Apostle Paul made special comments regarding their care. Sometimes I get caught in the “care” part, complaining why the “church” isn’t doing what Jesus taught “them” to do with widows, wishing the “church” would just meet my needs.

Two Types of Widows

But beyond their care, I found two types of widows discussed in the New Testament that are directly pointing at me. And as I studied it got personal really quickly!

According to Scripture, widows can fall into two categories: consumed with prayer or consumed with self. The word “widow” is used over a hundred times in Scripture, so I took the time to read every verse in every chapter in every book, in context.

Here are some of the descriptions:

• Place their hope in God (1 Timothy 5:5)
• Have a reputation of good works (1 Timothy 5:10)
• Busybody (1 Timothy 5:13)
• Self-indulgent (1 Timothy 5:6)
• Having passions that draw them away from God, their physical desires overpowering their devotion to Christ (1 Timothy 5:11)
• Prayerful (1 Timothy 5:5)

There are no 10 Commandments of Widowhood to follow or a list of dos and don’ts of widowhood. For each of us it will look different. I must stop judging the other widow for her life – instead look at mine and see how I measure up to the list from Scripture. God may show me areas where I am a busybody or that I should pray more or be more hopeful.

The type of widow I want to be…

• “sets her hope on God“= my hope for the future cannot be linked only to the hope of a future husband and father for my children or the hope of financial security. I have to place complete trust in God who has written and redeemed my story from beginning to end, even when it doesn’t make sense here on earth.
• “continues in supplications and prayers, day and night“= I have fought the lack of sleep “beast” for about five years. I have taken various medicines to help with sleep but recently, in the last six months, I have changed my focus. God has gifted me these “wee hours” to pray– for friends whose marriages are in crisis, for rebellious teens running from God, for widows with hopeless situations, for my own children, etc. My grandmother used to remind me to pray through the alphabet – A for someone whose name begins with A, B, C etc. I do not turn on lights or open my phone, just plain old-fashioned praying.

The type of widow I do NOT want to be…

• “self-indulgent“= I believe there at least three areas we could be self-indulgent: money, time, and sex. Money is one of those areas widows vary dramatically on. Some are comfortable and others struggle. There is no cookie-cutter budget we all live on, but there are some important principles found in Matthew and 1 Timothy. God tells us to give generously and remember where our wealth comes from – Him! We are just managers of it. Time could also be something we waste. I can find myself escaping my thoughts by scrolling through social media instead of feeding on Scripture first. We are encouraged in Scripture to “redeem” the time. Lastly, some widow groups encourage their followers to engage in any kind of sex because they “deserve” to indulge that area of their lives. But God’s word is very clear on sexual sin – flee from it! Indulging on sexually explicit books or movies can fall into that category as well. We are called to keep our minds pure. If you pray for God to show you if you are being “self-indulgent”, God will point it out to you clearly. If He has given you peace, then enjoy life!

I encourage you to pray over these verses today, and consider which of the two widows you are or want to be.

Let’s commit to being the widow of hope, the widow of prayer, the widow of good reputation. That is the path of true joy.

Lord God, I put my hope in You completely today. Take away the passions that pull me away from following You as closely as I can. Forgive me for judging others for their journey and open my eyes to my journey. Keep me close to You in prayer throughout the day and the night when I wake. And when You provide moments of relief, help me breathe deeply of the peace You send my way. Amen