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For as long as I can remember,
I’ve known that I am
a spiritual being
living in a physical body.
That I was created
with Heaven in mind,
but am a citizen of earth
until that glorious day
when I can change my physical address here
for my spiritual address there.
And for some reason,
I’ve never truly grasped
how my physical being and my spiritual being
are being lived out in my every day,
day to day living of my life.
Until recently, that is.
Until losing my husband.
My physical being misses my husband.
It physically misses
his physical presence –
his touch,
his laugh,
his voice,
his companionship.
It physically hurts from losing him –
soreness in every muscle,
fatigue in every waking moment,
a heartache that radiates through every inch of me.
It is my physical being
that longs for him to be here
with me still.
It is my physical being
that mourns his passing,
that feels the emptiness,
that fights to go on.
But then,
there is my spiritual being.
When we become born again
by His Spirit,
God graciously and amazingly,
places His Spirit inside of us,
in our inner man.
For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from when the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height – to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:15-21
It is my inner man,
filled with His Spirit
that is the core of
who I am,
and what I do.
And, I am discovering,
it is this part of me, –
my inner man,
that
keeps stirring up my faith,
keeps mustering up my courage,
keeps praising my God,
keeps seeing His faithfulness,
keeps trusting His plan,
keeps stepping out,
keeps believing,
and keeps moving on.
It is my inner man
that is upholding
and sustaining
my physical being.
It is my inner man,
empowered by His precious Holy Spirit,
that makes the difference
in whether I lie down and give up,
or keep on keeping on.
And, I am reminded of the story of Jacob.
How Jacob loved Rachel
with a love that was willing
to work fourteen years
to win her hand in marriage.
How together,
they had Joseph,
but sadly years later,
Rachel died giving birth
to their second son, Benjamin.
So Rachel died, and she was buried on the way to Ephrath, (that is, Bethlehem), and Jacob set up a pillar at her grave; it is the pillar of Rachel’s tomb, which is there to this day.
Genesis 35:20
Jacob was heartbroken to be sure.
And I can’t help thinking
his physical being felt this loss
the same way
I am feeling the loss
of my Handsome Honey,
the same way you may be feeling
a loss in your own life.
He placed in the ground
the love of his life.
Then, he placed a memorial
at the sight,
so she wouldn’t be forgotten,
so her memory would live on.
And, I’m sure he wept tears.
And, I’m sure Jacob wondered
what he would do now,
and how he would do
what he needed to do now.
But then,
there is the spiritual being,
there is the part of us
that has been touched
and transformed by God’s touch.
Sometimes when this happens
we are given a new name
(as was the case with Jacob
when God changed his name to Israel),
but all times when this happens
we are given a new identity in God,
an inner strength
birthed in our inner man,
an inward movement
of His Spirit
that leads us in
an outward and forward direction.
Just look at Jacob.
Just look at the very next verse.
Jacob buried the love of His life but then . . . ISRAEL {emphasis mine} journeyed on and pitched his tent beyond the tower of Eder.
Genesis 35:21
