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Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)

Never in a million years did I believe I’d lose my brother Andy so abruptly—and of all times—right before Christmas. It was as if his last dare was that we celebrate rather than mourn. And so our extended family chose to wait to post our tributes on social media until after the Holiday celebrations were over. How tough it was carrying on with our Christmas traditions knowing among us so close to him that someone dear to us was missing.

It had me thinking about the many widows I’ve met through this ministry who had lost spouses during the Holidays. To now have this holiday be the reminder of that event year after year breaks my heart.

Far more upsetting than the timing of this loss is that my brother wasn’t the church-going type, and he certainly never vocalized a faith. As his widow acknowledged this, I thought about the many widows who don’t have the confidence of knowing where their husbands stood with the Lord.

What the Lord gave me to comfort us were these words: “The Lord knows his heart, and you can trust Him to hear every bit of surrender to Him even to the very last breath, so there is no need for you to give it one more thought but to trust God.” That hope of eternal salvation comforted me as well as my brother’s widow.

It’s not for us here to declare where a person is in their walk. That awful day when Christ was crucified, a robber was being crucified next to Him. That robber asked for assurance by saying “Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!”. Luke 23:42 (ESV)

For those of us who never heard our husbands profess their faith, we can remember that this man didn’t profess his faith until that moment with Christ. As a matter of fact, in Matthew’s account of the crucifixion, up until those final moments, the robbers who were being crucified with him mocked him along with the crowd. That may well have included the robber who finally surrendered to Christ in his final moments. (Matt 27:44). Had it not been recorded in the book of Luke (above), his belief in the Lord Jesus may never have been known by anyone but he and the Savior.

Have you been pained with anxiety over the fate of your lost husband? Rest in your Savior, sister. The Lord knows what your husband yearned for deep in his soul. He knows your husband’s heart. He knew your husband even when your husband was that wee-little-boy. Or that young adult who sat in a pew and felt the excitement of the Lord, only to have the weeds of the world choke that excitement out. Sister, hold on to the hope that an earnest surrender grants eternal life and as John 10:28 says, “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.”

Of course, you can only hope, not know. That’s where focusing on your own walk with Christ is important. Lean not on your understanding. Remember you don’t have to carry the burden of your husband’s relationship with Christ on your shoulders. Surrender it, sister, as I have surrendered my brother. Trust that God has this and knows your needs for healing and closure. Let Him comfort you. Trust in the Lord and don’t lean on your own understanding. Celebrate your husband’s life and the wonderful memories you share. Love others deeply and encourage others to grow and share their faith.

Heavenly Father,

There are some sisters in this ministry who may have been feeling a bit left out when reading many of our posts where we are fairly certain of our husband’s faith. God, please use Your comfort to help those sisters move forward. Amen.