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Holidays Are Hard: Finding Gratitude in the Midst of Grief

Holidays are often the most difficult times of the year after a life-altering loss. And a celebration centered on giving thanks can feel particularly challenging when the ache of an empty chair is impossible to ignore.

I vividly remember the first Thanksgiving without Norm. It had been less than two months since he passed, and his absence was deafening. The empty chair at the table seemed to scream at me, its silence often louder than the hum of conversation around me. Dinner was served, Thanksgiving blessings were offered, and while I participated, I couldn’t escape the overwhelming void. There was not a single moment that I didn’t miss his presence.

At times, it felt like I was watching someone else’s life unfold from the outside. This new reality didn’t make any sense. How could this be my life? Yet even in the depths of that pain, I was able to see the many chairs that were filled with beautiful people that I loved deeply.

“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;”
Psalm 118:1a (ESV)

I recognized how much I still had to be thankful for:

• The family members who surrounded me with love.
• The many hands that prepared an incredible meal.
• The warm and beautiful home where we gathered together.
• The laughter, stories, and encouragement shared by those who present.

There was so much to be grateful for, and yet there was still so much to grieve. This tension between grief and gratitude feels especially sharp during the holidays. But here’s the truth: you can hold both feelings at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive and it is okay to feel both.

Acknowledge the Good

My prayer for all of us this Thanksgiving is that even as we feel the heartache, we can also find ways to acknowledge the good. It may feel hard—maybe even impossible—but there is good to be found.

It’s easy to notice what’s missing:

• The empty chair.
• The void in family photos.
• The ache of loss that feels fresh and raw again.
• His laughter, storytelling, warm hugs, and the holding of hands during prayer.

This heartache is real. It is deep, sharp, and life-altering. There is no shortcut through grief; it must be walked through. Yet even as we carry it, we can open our hearts to glimpses of joy.

We can feel His peace even in our pain. We can cherish the love of those still with us. And we can find gratitude for every occupied chair at the table.

Let us hold tightly to the family and friends who gather with us this year. Let us treasure these moments, these people, and these blessings—not taking a single one for granted.

This Thanksgiving, may we see the good, feel the good, and share the good. And even in the midst of our brokenness, may we always remember that He is good.

“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;”
Psalm 50:20a (ESV)

Heavenly Father, I am so grateful for Your abundant blessings this Thanksgiving. Thank You for the time spent with family and friends, and I ask that You minister to the hearts and minds of all who are hurting. The empty chair can be difficult to see past, please give us eyes to see all the good in our lives and surround us with the peace that only You can give. In Jesus’ name, Amen.