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Tears water our growth….

~Shakespeare

Let’s take a moment or two today to step back from our current situation and look back across our timeline. Today we are going to look at the moments in our lives where we experienced growth. That growth could be emotionally, spiritually, or even physically.

What events come to mind? Are there some moments of “growing pains” that you see right now?

Childhood

As a child, I remember the pain of relationship issues with my little friends in the neighborhood. The tears I shed over the hurt from unkind words led to growth in my heart as I learned how MY words hurt – I didn’t want to be the deliverer of the pain in someone’s life.

Teen years

Then the tears I shed after getting the seventeenth chair in the flute section in middle school. Yes, there were a LOT of flute players. What did I learn? I learned that practicing has its benefits, and Mom was right about it! I went on to play flute in college and later in the church orchestra for several decades.

College

Tears also came when I was dropped off at college. They didn’t come as I watched my parents and grandmother drive off because let’s face it: mom and dad were pretty excited to finally have an empty nest! I was the baby of six kids. I used to joke that I didn’t even get the door closed before they sped off, squealing their van tires! But as the first hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, I was forced to deal with my feelings. For most of my life, I would sit down at the piano and just play for hours. My mind seemed to go to a dream-like state where it sorted all my thoughts into files. At college, I didn’t have instant access to the piano, so I had to sort my thoughts on my own. I distinctly remember standing at the window one dark, rainy night, feeling very unsettled and unsure why. But the tears I shed that night were a turning point for me in learning to deal with emotions. That tool would definitely serve me well for decades.

Marriage

When my marriage struggled because of addiction, tears watered my pillow many nights. My growth came as I clung to God. Any control I thought I had in the situation was gone completely. Those were hard lessons to learn, but much growth came because the next event would need all the clinging to God there was to be found.

Widowhood. Solo parenting. Singleness. Grief.

So many tears.

Here’s what I have discovered about my personal growth through widowhood:

• closer relationship to God
• complete dependence on God in parenting
• openness to new friendships
• ability to open myself to new love
• comforting others with the comfort I received from God

And this week were more tears. I put my current home on the market. I realized what was going through my mind – I realized there was a closing of my chapter of independence. This home was one I purchased on my own during widowhood. It holds a lot of memories of solo parenting – graduations, homeschooling, and many many dinners around the table. This chapter is closing. I am sending my youngest to a traditional school – almost twenty years of homeschooling are finished.

But what does the Bible tell us about tears? The Psalms have several verses about tears I noticed. (all from ESV)

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?
Psalm 56:8

Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; hold not your peace at my tears!
Psalm 39:12

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!
Psalm 126:5

Tears are normal. And God uses them to help us grow – in compassion, in faith, and in our own spiritual journey.

Where have tears watered your growth?

Lord God, what a journey we have been on! Help us to see the timelines of our lives with many points of growth through tears. Thank You that You see our tears and restore our joy. Thank You for loving us all along the way, especially when we felt abandoned. We know that feelings aren’t always accurate because You promise never to leave us. What a beautiful promise! Amen