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Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

These verses were read at my wedding and are written on the inside of my wedding band, now lying in a box in my closet. They are some of my favorites.

But what if you don’t have the cord of three strands anymore? What if you have to lie down alone? How are you going to keep warm?

Right after my husband Keith died, I had some of those questions. Maybe not consciously, but at least subconsciously. Right from the beginning, I knew things would be changing for me significantly. Understatement of the year.

God, however, knew my needs, even before I did…and provided!

Within a few months of Keith’s death, I made five new friends who were all widows!

Through a variety of ways, and in a variety of situations, God brought me what I needed even before I truly knew that I needed it–new friends who truly understood.

These precious ladies had, all but one, been on the path of widowhood longer than I. And they were a tremendous help to me in how to navigate the journey. As one of these dear ladies put it, she may not be able to fill all the potholes in this road for me, but she could at least tell me they were coming so that I could slow down or steer around them.

The only thing that was a little odd was that they did not know each other yet.

We decided that meeting together was beneficial to all of us. So, we started having coffee and dinner, going to plays and movies. We prayed for each other and shared our lives in person and on our group on social media. And we have developed a closeness quickly and easily as we rely on God, and each other, on this journey.

Today, several years later, we have grown to a group of women (and even a few men) of about twenty-four. We call ourselves Travelers on a Different Journey. It was not the journey we chose, by any means, but one upon which we find ourselves. And we have found that having others who “get it” and have “been there” breaks down barriers and creates no awkward silences that sometimes happen with our other friends. We laugh together more than we cry. We talk freely about our spouses now gone and our future and what it could be. And we are blessed to know each other and be in contact with each other.

We have determined goals and a mission statement for our group, and I will share these, should they be of help to any others out there:

1. To provide fellowship: a safe environment in which we can enjoy adult fellowship with others who have felt the loss we have. Through monthly outings, dinners, and coffees, we strive to give opportunities to get to know others on the same journey, and to laugh or cry as needed.
2. To provide prayer support for the concerns within the members of our group, and for new widows/widowers we come in contact with.
3. To provide practical support in the form of lectures/classes on new areas of responsibility that we have that are outside of our comfort zone, such a finances, home repair, etc.
4. To provide outreach to widows and widowers who come to the attention of the members of the group through friends or other organizations to which we belong.

I am so thankful to God that in His infinite wisdom and grace, He provided us with each other in order to face this journey. The moments are hard, to be sure, but the journey is sweeter, knowing that I always have someone I can call for advice, a hug, and a prayer.

In a different way, I still have a cord of three strands to help give me strength…God Himself, me, and my fellow Travelers. Were I without any of these pieces, this journey would be unimaginably hard. And I pray that you, fellow traveler, have these three cords as well.

Dear Lord, I pray we can find the joy of community and fellowship with others who understand our journey. I pray that we can be a support to each other for the tough days, and a cheering section for the joyous days. Mostly, Lord, I pray that we can grow ever closer to You, to glean from this journey what You would have us glean in each moment, happy or sad. I pray that we can see You as our Husband and our Best Friend above all others. In Jesus’ Name Amen.