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I just got swallowed up by a whale and spit out!

Only figuratively though.

But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord…
Jonah 1:3 ESV

Are you like Jonah? Were you in good standing?

Jonah was living the good life. He loved serving God and God’s people. Like Jonah, I loved serving God when things were fitting into my plan. I enjoyed serving the kingdom alongside of my husband David. We were moving forward. Life was good.

Did you choose this life?

God asked Jonah to go to Nineveh and tell the people to turn from their wicked ways or be completely destroyed. Jonah had such a distaste for Nineveh that he simply didn’t want to do it–so much so that he boarded a ship headed in the opposite direction — to the city of Tarshish.

Life happened and my David walked on into heaven. This was not my plan. This was not how I wanted to serve God and His kingdom. God asked me to walk a road I never wanted to walk!

I never wanted to be called a widow!

I never wanted to live here in this place without David!

I never wanted to raise three girls alone without their daddy.

I never wanted to worry about finances and stability without my guy.

I never wanted to not fit in with our married friends!

I never wanted to be counting our anniversary numbers on my own.

I never wanted to go to his parent’s house and be the family of four.

I never wanted to do this life alone!

Do you think you are going to get let off the hook?

God didn’t let Jonah off the hook. Finally, after being thrown overboard, living in a fish for days, and, being spit out by the fish on dry land. He relented.

Did you relent?

Here is where my life and Jonah’s take different paths. Jonah relented and took the message to Nineveh. This is where God told me to quit fighting and start accepting my life as a widow. My process of relenting has just started and I’m beginning to clean off the whale slime that I have been covered in far too long.

Are you willing to let God use your life?

The people of Nineveh heeded Jonah’s message from God and in return God bestowed His grace and mercy on them as He had promised. Jonah knew that God was going to do a mighty work in Nineveh. I too have spoken words of truth over others’ circumstances and knew that God was capable of making their ash heap, beautiful again.

Do you think that God is holding out on you?

Even though God accomplished a great deal in Nineveh through Jonah, he wasn’t happy and stomped off into the desert. God asked why he was angry. Jonah’s reply was “because I knew you were going to do this for Nineveh!” He could see God’s mighty hand working good out in the people of Nineveh, but, somehow in the depths of who he was, Jonah could not trust God to know that God had his back in all things. As I continued to reflect about Jonah’s anger and frustration, God gave me a quick glimpse into what I have been struggling with these last few years. The truth of God’s message brought instant tears.

Are you ready to join me and quit running?

Meanwhile, here I am wanting to stomp right off and stay stuck in the desert under a dying fig tree being miserable and angry; rather than believe deep in my core that God has my back. His intentions for my life now are still to prosper me and not to harm me. God revealed that my life will look different, but the difference should not imply lack of beauty.

All my brokenness and all the beauty that comes from my past are fuel for my future.

I have to believe that He has my back. Even though I never saw this in my realm of possibilities, as hard as it is to admit; I have to walk it out like it was plan A.

Lord, Forgive me for not trusting You in all things. Help me to realize this plan of Yours is right where You want me to be. Help me trust You! In Your precious name, Amen!