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“Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:14-15 ESV

My sweet friend returned to church for the first time since her husband passed.

As you know, that takes courage.

Somehow, where we worship the Lord, where we sat with our husbands and open hearts to the Lord, can often be the rawest of wounds.

One of the hard parts of returning to your church is choosing where to sit. Do you sit where you always did with him, or do you find a new place? There is no wrong answer to this question. I have had friends make both choices.

Here is how I made my decision.

When our church built its new building twelve years ago, we put scriptures all over the floor in permanent marker just before they laid the carpet. The idea was to be a reminder that we are standing on the Word of God. Neat tradition! My husband wanted to put the Joshua scripture above on the floor under where we sat. It was his life verse. Being creatures of habit, especially him, we planned to sit in the new building in the same place where we had always sat in the rental facility.

He carefully viewed where the pulpit would be, marked off about where our chairs would be once the sanctuary was finished, and then wrote the scripture right there. It was actually a little amusing to watch. But the sentiment was very sweet, the devotion very real. He wanted his family to follow the Lord. Period.

If we read the scriptures about Joshua, we see the godly man he was, and the strength in the Lord by which he led his family. He definitely talked the talk and walked the walk. I think there is no better statement that can be made of a child of God.

My sweet husband was the same kind of man. His funeral was packed with people whom I knew, and many I did not know, who all said similar things about his character. What a tremendous testimony to who he was!

And what a legacy to leave for me and the boys!

His strong leadership of our family allowed us to grieve his loss, but with hope; to accept gracefully his death, just as he accepted his illness; and to put God first, no matter what.

We are a changed family by losing Keith. But…we are still a family seeking after God’s will. We are a family who has Christ as the cornerstone of our home and of our lives. That did not change when we lost Keith.

Today, more than six years later, as I still sit in the same spot, I take great comfort in the fact that my husband’s words are still right below my feet, that I am standing firm of them. My aim is to raise my sons to be strong men of God like their father, men who not only talk the talk but also walk the walk. I happily stand firm in Him who gave His life for me.

It is not always easy, but it is always worth it.

We all have to make a lot of choices in this new life, dear sisters. Where you choose to sit in church is but one. I pray that as you face the myriad of choices of this new and unexpected path, you continue to lean on the Lord.

He is the One who can help you to stand firm.

Dear Father, when we are broken before You in our grief, help us to stay on Your path. Help us to stand firm in You, leaning on Your word as our guide for life. Help us to make the choices, both big and small, that You would have us make. Help us to see You in the place of leadership and support in our lives. Thank You for being all these things, and so much more, to us. In Your Son’s Name, Amen.