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Not long after I became a widow, I felt the weight of daily life like never before.

Losing my husband also brought a loss of income and investments that I hoped would one day provide money for retirement.

Suddenly, I was alone, trying to manage the financial decisions and faced with choices regarding where to live and how to move forward. Work was filled with daily obstacles, and while I was grateful for a job, mentally it was a heavy load.

My faith had always been strong, and I wanted to find answers to bring peace and clarity to the choices I was facing.

Without my husband, my emotions were fragile. I knew God was with me, but I had a sense of loneliness in the midst of my burdens.

I began to search the scriptures and prayed to find answers for managing the pressures and weight this unsteady life brought my way.

In the book of Matthew, Jesus provided an invitation to come to Him and He would give me rest.

I needed rest and peace of mind that the choices I made and the direction I was headed were aligned with God’s will. I needed to know that Jesus could see me, my decisions, and my struggles. As I read through the scriptures, I found that Mary, the sister of Lazarus, learned from Jesus. She was following His teachings and was even sitting at the feet of Jesus to learn and listen.

Luke 10:38-42 (ESV) says,

“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.”

“Sitting at the feet of a rabbi” was a formal term in the first century. The relationships developed between a rabbi and his disciple were very important. Every rabbi who taught in Middle Eastern culture had their own personal theology and perspective on the scriptures. Jesus was offering His perspective on scripture to those that listened.

The passage continued and helped me see a different perspective about Martha, her sister.

“But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?Tell her then to help me. But the Lord answered her, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

I saw myself in Martha- worried and upset about many things. Immediately, I began a conversation with the Lord. It was then that I realized that God was not upset with me when I shared my needs. He knew that I needed to work and wisdom to manage expenses that were present each day. I noticed that Martha was trying to juggle the workload and needed direction from Jesus on how to make that happen.

As I read the passage over and over, His words provided the answer I was seeking.

Jesus was letting Martha know that she, too, could sit and learn from him.

It was as though Jesus was saying to me, You too can learn from me as you live out the life before you.

Throughout the Bible, when God calls a person’s name twice, He is getting ready to change their life. When I replaced Martha’s name with my own, I could hear Jesus saying, “Eileen, Eileen, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. You belong, and are welcome to have a seat at the table with me. Know that you are wanted.”

That was a turning point for me. It was then that I wanted to find the adventures ahead and embrace the direction God was leading.

I found that God meets us where we are, but never leaves us there.

Lord,

Help us to be unafraid to bring our concerns and struggles to You. Help us to come to Jesus daily with humility and transparency. We want to show up for life, and be aware of the pathway You are setting before us. Show us Your purpose and presence as we follow Your word.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen