{{item.title | uppercase}}

Even in laughter the heart may ache.
Proverbs 14:13 NIV

When I joined the sisterhood of widowhood, I loved the encouragement and strength many of these “widow sisters” gave me. I would hear them speak of their first year, their second year, and the following years. Some of them would speak about the second year being worse than others.

And as I progressed into the middle of year two, I noticed something felt very different. I had an idea of what my friends spoke of. A fog had filled my brain during the first year of widowhood. It felt lifted in the second year, and reality settled in.

The reality that all those jokes I shared with someone are left hanging in the air with no one there to finish the joke or smile as I say the movie or song line. The reality that I am single parenting and I am barely hanging on some days. The reality that the love I shared with that special person is over. The marriage was cut short. The fathering had ended. My soul ached with all the emotions I was feeling.

One friend heard grief described this way:

Year One: Grief walks over you
​Year Two: Grief walks closely beside you
​Year Three: You walk over grief

It isn’t always this way, of course. Just one person’s opinion.

How was I going to handle this second year of “grief walks closely beside me” every step of the way? There had to be HOPE somewhere to be found?

I did find HOPE – and it wasn’t in things many groups were telling me to do. I found HOPE by turning my eyes outward instead of inward. So much of the first few months is spent on surviving. But now, in year two, it was time for me to reach out to a NEW widow just beginning her journey. I began meeting with her each week while my younger children were in church programs. We would laugh and we would cry. Even when our souls were aching, we enjoyed a good chuckle. We prayed together, rarely without tears. It was so beautiful to see her begin to emerge from her fog and begin to reach out to other new widows and get involved in a Bible study all on her own.

If you are feeling hopeless in your grief, take a few minutes to sit quietly with the book of Psalms today. There are so many beautiful verses there that God has brought to my attention anew during my grief. Grab a clean journal at the bookstore or your laptop and write/type the verses you want to remember or something the Holy Spirit pointed you to.

Here are some other ideas to bring your heart back into focus as your grief walks beside you:

• Fill your mind with praise songs in order to keep your heart in tune with God’s heart.
• Surround yourself with believers that speak truth into your life.
• Pray for another widow by name.
• Look for ways to get involved behind the scenes at your church – nursery, help out a single mom so she can attend a Bible study, help decorate your church auditorium during holidays, or cook meals for Mobile Meals.

Each year of grief has its changes and pain – different for each person. If you are struggling in the raw pain of your grief, take time to be still with God your Father. He understands the pain associated with loss. He knows our souls ache. And He wants to hold your hand on this grief journey, year by year, day by day.

Father God, Thank You for Your love for me today. Draw me to Yourself when I struggle the most. Show me a purpose, a place where I can minister to someone else. Give me endurance on the grief journey. And thank You for walking along beside me. Amen