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About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bonds were unfastened. When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.” And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”
Acts 16:25–30 (ESV)

On a bright sunny August afternoon in 2007, I was a young mom, happily married to my best friend, and raising lots of kids together. But out of nowhere, death paid us an unexpected visit in our neighborhood, snatching my husband away right in front of our four younger boys while they were splashing around in the community pool.

Crash course! The years that followed seemed like a never-ending struggle.

But strangely, it also turned out to be a crash course in dealing with unending uncertainty. I had to learn how to manage a life without Tom – that was a life I never saw coming.

Fast forward to the anxieties of our world today.

It seems that anxiety has gone global! We seem to be in a world we never imagined. So many are seriously weighed down to a point where in 2022, the World Health Organization reported a 25% increase in anxiety worldwide. Just turning on the news can get me feeling powerless at times, but then I remembered what I learned during my darkest times of grief. We might not have control over the tough stuff life throws our way, but we sure have control over how we react to it. Our freedom lies in that choice.

Even in jail, Paul knew what it took to feel free.

And it wasn’t freedom from incarceration or persecution. Even while in prison, he and Silas felt free enough to sing hymns. And as they sang, other prisoners listened. Then out of nowhere, an earthquake shook the foundations of the prison and swung open the doors. Everyone was freed (Acts 16:25–26).

I was so tired of grief that I wanted my “prison doors” swung open so I could feel joy again!

I used to think that kind of freedom would only come when my kids grew up, or when I had my money situation figured out, or when I found myself in another happy marriage. But these weren’t the keys to my freedom to feel joy! My real prison wasn’t just the grief I felt after losing Tom; it was the one I created for myself in the years that followed. It was a mental jail where I kept myself locked up, forever longing for a past that was gone for good. I was stuck with these imprisoning beliefs, thinking I could only be truly happy if I had a rock-solid marriage. I bet many of us can relate to feeling trapped in our own heads. Our beliefs and thoughts can seriously mess with our feelings, actions, and what we believe we’re capable of.

So I decided to sing, like Paul, and be joyful even when in the prison of my grief!

I decided to remember God’s love for me – feel it every day. Meditate on it. It’s a critical step for me to do this each day because I want to be all and do all that God knows I’m capable of. I remember what happened after those prison doors broke open when Paul and Silas were singing! The jailer freaked and almost took his own life for fear of what would happen when it was discovered that the prisoners escaped. But Paul told him not to be afraid and the jailer turned towards the God of Israel at that point!

Can you imagine what impact you’ll have on those around you when they see you singing hymns (so to speak) with your joy in life in spite of having lost your husband? We’re not the only ones suffering and the world needs the Love of God. The jailer wasn’t in a physical prison but by singing in spite of his physical prison, Paul unlatched the prison in the jailer’s heart and brought to him the infinitely more valuable eternal peace!

Lord Jesus,

Our husbands have transcended all that is of this world and now rest, waiting for the day when all of us will reunite before You. They had to shed the cares of the world, but we can still get locked in this world’s “prisons”. Help free us all, Jesus, and help us sing hymns of joy through You! Amen