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Unless the Lord builds the house,
they labor in vain who build it;”
Psalm 127:1a (NASB)

Each for the other and both for God

Bill and I met and were married within six months in Dallas, Texas. Our rings were engraved with “Each for the other and both for God”. We were committed to the Lord and to each other for forty-two years. Memorizing Psalm 127:1, we did our best to apply it to our marriage and family.

Bill suffered his first stroke in the spring following our twentieth anniversary, and a second one ten years later. As his caregiver, I watched his struggles and suffering and can tell you that he fought daily to improve his quality of life. We were a team and the Lord drew us closer to one another and closer to Him during those years.

We had many doctor visits, hospital visits, and daily challenges.

Yet God was in the middle of each moment and we knew we were in the middle of His will.

The last hospital visit for Bill was unexpected and problems escalated quickly. We arrived on a Wednesday and the following Tuesday he was in heaven. I promised Bill as we approached the ER for the last time, that whenever the Lord decided Bill’s life on Earth was completed, I would accept that, and celebrate his presence with the Lord. Bill’s faith was strong, and he assured me that he knew God is sovereign, and that our days are always in His hands. That agreement is much easier to say than to do. There are days and situations when I am overwhelmed by the future and decisions facing me.

How do you rebuild a life when you lose a spouse?

It is daunting to figure out that process. Some of the activities and ways Bill and I spent time together as a couple and social situations do not work for me now. I need to take our dreams and plans for the future and modify them. Determining and re-establishing who I am is significant for me to move forward in my grief.

Gradually, the rebuilding process develops as I discover the life God has for me.

I am still a child of the King. Christ is in my heart, and the framework for my faith had been built and supported through the years by good teaching from God’s Word. I have family and friends that still support me and hold me accountable even today. I find myself leaning on God’s Word as truth in these moments of loss. Being grounded in truth has always allowed me freedom to grow and branch out to see where God could use me. Day by day, God demonstrates His faithfulness even in the most difficult moments of grief.

He still is at work restoring me to accomplish His purpose.

Through prayer I find confidence and clarity to be able to make decisions.

Bill & I had a life verse we shared.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB)

I can say without a doubt that truth is real.

Lord, take away our fear as we rebuild our lives. We know You love us and have a plan for our lives. Even when life seems to be broken apart and in pieces, help us to recover our footing. Be with us in the rebuilding process, and bring us peace. Amen.