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Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds
Proverbs 27:23 (ESV)

Why would a veteran widow be writing other widows about sheep?

Because all of us, as widows, are in the position of having to watch over our resources without a husband to hold us accountable.

So doesn’t it make sense to get wisdom from God’s Word on the subject?

Solomon wrote in Proverbs about the importance of knowing the condition of your flocks and giving attention to your herds. In those days, the quality and quantity of sheep represented wealth and security.

We can apply this wisdom to our financial wealth, no matter the size of our bank accounts. Even a penniless widow has air in her lungs and hands to serve with. Look upon your opportunity to earn as part of your financial nest egg. Celebrate that opportunity with rejoicing.

I’m taking a risk by writing about money. Some might react by feeling guilty over their spending habits. Others may feel provoked when hearing about women who have what they do not. Both are uncomfortable emotions, no doubt. But worse than uncomfortable feelings is the power those feelings have in keeping widows from dealing honestly with proper stewardship of their nest egg.

So share with us here. What did you do right or wrong in stewarding over your “flock” of green? I’d love to hear. I’ll begin by sharing one thing very right and one thing very wrong I did in my first year as a widow ten years ago.

Here is what I did well.

It’s not a step I recommend without first seeking advice of a good financial planner, as I did. When I was handed a modest, but not huge, life insurance benefit, I began by tithing. I knew what having a new amount of funds might at a time I was alone and insecure without a husband may do to me. I never wanted money to own me. My initial tithe on the benefit was my way of telling satan he has no hold on this widow through money. Ten years later I can honestly say that was one of the best choices for me. This ministry and author cannot and does not suggest how to spend your own funds. By getting direction from the Lord and advice from a good financial advisor, I made choices that were soul-winning for me.

Here’s what didn’t do well and I had to surrender and change to get back on track.

Once the anxiety and loneliness of early grief set in, I began to spend. It was like a slippery slope. First, a modest clothes shopping trip, with the delight of noticing no one questioned my purchase of three pairs of jeans rather than one. Soon I found myself in the higher priced boutiques and making-over a few rooms in my home. I rationalized I needed these things for the new me to grow. I told myself it was just this time. Soon I found myself making habits of it. A new rationalization took over– God doesn’t want to see me confused and discouraged. Surely, He is more interested in this widow feeling reassured in her style and comfort so that she could effectively raise her children and be strong in this widow’s journey. When I became aware of my spending outpacing the advice of my financial planner, I came to the final rationalization that didn’t sit well with me. I rationalized that God would take care of the widow. If the money ran out, He would somehow provide.

Fortunately, reality nagged at my self-serving notions. This third rationalization that God would provide if my money ran outlasted only about a day and actually served to prove to myself that I had reached a dangerous level of denial.

I shook myself loose of the devil’s lies and went back to the financial planner to reset my goals.

Ladies, even if your nest egg is tiny – get financial advice. Don’t believe that the fact that God takes care of the widows means you don’t need to properly steward over what resources He has placed in front of you.

Find joy in managing it well. Once I shifted my thinking, I did the following to help myself have fun with it…

• I budgeted and challenged myself to stay within budget. I was surprised at how much fun my boys and I had with it. By using coupons, I cut my grocery budget by $500 per month! We would see how low we could go in the restaurant bill by drinking water, using restaurant specials, etc…
• I saved ahead for new purchases. I knew a car was needed so I set aside a certain amount of money each month until I could afford one. Wow, was it fun to bring home the car without needing to make payments.
• I made giving a weekly part of my budget. Giving to others helps you appreciate what you have.

Heavenly Father, speak to my sisters on this journey and impress on them to please never leave You out of their financial life. There is so much more joy in this world when we live with the peace of living within our means. Amen.