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“But let all who take refuge in You rejoice;
let them ever sing for joy,
and spread Your protection over them,
that those who love Your name may exult in You.”
Psalm 5:11 (ESV)

One-Size-Fits-All Grief

Sometimes, grief will take hold and have its way with our hearts and minds. Have you found grief to be impossible to understand?

Anyone who has entered the highway of grief has searched for answers to get to the destination – THE OTHER SIDE OF GRIEF!

Did you find and read the “5 Stages of Grief”?

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

I read these – Yes, in 2016, I sure did. I can tell you as I read them now, there is that same desire to snort, and make a sound like pffffft – Really!!!!

Did your grief follow these stages?

“Your grief path is yours alone, and no one else can walk it,

and no one else can understand it.”

— Terri Irwin

Unique-to-Me Grief

All the ‘business’ calls for financial information and how that would all change…

Before Steve’s memorial service, I received a call from the company he had worked for for 40 years before retiring demanding I prove that I was married to him.

Whether you were a caregiver to your husband or like me, lost him suddenly, our hearts and minds cannot even process what we have lost and what we will face as widows.

After those early and stressful decisions, we face other, very personal—monumental ‘heart’ decisions.

When do we clean out his things from the closet?

We will all be different as we work to decide when the time is right.

Within a week of my daddy passing away, my mother had every single thing of his packed up from their closet and given away. I didn’t question it then, I just knew it was something she had to do.

For me, I still have a couple of Steve’s favorite Polo shirts, a pair of his slacks, and his favorite shoes in my very tiny closet.

When do I quit wearing my wedding ring?

Again, for me, our wedding rings were exchanged as we renewed our vows after a very hard season in our marriage. They were actually new rings we just happened to surprise each other with that day. I wear Steve’s ring first then mine on top of his – a reminder of God’s faithfulness and all He did to restore our marriage.

Will I marry again?

My mother remarried a widower, a wonderful man. They served the Lord together for twelve years before the Lord took him home. I believe the Lord kept my mother’s heart open to new love and remarriage.

For me, I do not feel that desire to remarry. I have a pretty long list of ‘why’ I believe that remarriage is not for me. I smile here as I have another pretty long list for the Lord as to all the VERY good reasons I think Steve should still be with me.

The Lord’s answer to me?

“My ways are so much higher than yours, Kathy. You will just have to trust Me. One day, you will understand.”

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:9 (ESV)

Oh, such personal decisions.

And every single one, even though possibly different from another widow’s, is perfectly RIGHT.

In this Chapter 1 of 12 in 2025…

What will be required to live out this new year for the Lord?

It will take the FAITH of Abraham…

“He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body,which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God,”
Romans 4:19-20 (ESV)

It will take ALIGNING our hearts with His word as we seek to fulfill our God-given destiny and purpose – in THIS season.

And it will take TRUST that He alone will direct our paths.

My sweet sisters in Christ gathered together for this season, may it be said of us…

She plunged into His promises and came up STRONG!

Together, let’s seek His will and His direction on how He can use a multitude of ladies who find themselves in a season where total dependence rests on Him. I believe He looks at us as His widow warriors and no matter how old we are, like Abraham, He has a plan to use us for His glory.

Our Heavenly Father, thank You that we did not enter 2025 alone. We pray for Your strength, direction, and courage as we move forward in Your divine purpose for our lives. Amen.