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“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 (ESV)

Last night, I got a text message reply from someone that seemed a little terse to me.

In truth, this person is always a bit rough around the edges and doesn’t typically add much warmth to his conversation, so nothing was likely meant by it.

But, as I’ve often done in the past, I began to read all sorts of things into his text.

How often have you found yourself doing the same?

Our minds are incredibly creative, and we often project much more into situations than is actually there. We naturally experience anxieties and worries, and our brains are wired to protect us. As a result, we tend to create the worst possible scenarios based on everyday observations. This is how the enemy takes advantage of our creativity, using it to get us to lie to ourselves and spiral into negative thinking.

When our world is turned upside down through loss, these creative narratives only become more skewed, gravitating toward dreaded possibilities. But all of these possibilities are laced with some level of falsehood. Perhaps you’ve experienced some of these thoughts:

1. Some of the ladies got together but didn’t include you. It must be because you no longer have a husband, and they’ve abandoned you, right? No! That’s a lie.
2. Ever since your husband passed, you find yourself flustered and forgetful. You must be getting out of touch with the world! Nope, that’s a crazy lie!
3. You wake up in the middle of the night, alone in the dark, thinking this is all that’s left in life. This falsehood is particularly damaging!

In the light of day, when we’re in a more stable emotional place, we can look back at these scenarios and see the absurdity of these lies. But in the moment, as our thoughts spiral, these creative narratives feel undeniably real. The havoc these unproven stories wreak on our emotional and spiritual well-being can be destructive and difficult to undo.

So, I had to learn to stop these narratives before they took hold! And you can, too! I’ve broken it down into an acronym: SPUNK.

1. Spot the enemy’s lie

He (Satan) was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
John 8:44b (ESV)

When you get that sinking feeling that your thoughts are spiraling, pay attention to what’s behind the feelings and thoughts that make you feel bad. Learn to discern when you’ve made a destructive conclusion without any real evidence.

One way I finally learned to quickly recognize when I’m doing this is by keeping a journal of incidents where I interpreted situations negatively, only to later realize that I’d misread the situation. The person involved never had any ill intentions or feelings toward me that required concern. I keep a mental note of these instances to remind myself that, more often than not, I’m overthinking things.

2. Pitch that lie

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12 (ESV)

Ask yourself whether the story you’re telling yourself aligns with the Truth of God’s Word. Is it God-honoring to assume the worst-case scenario? Is there a more important Truth about God’s enduring love?

3. Unearth the Truth

Focus on what’s real: the Gospel. God’s unshakeable love for you. The fact that you are never truly alone. That He saved you and conquered the world. Scripture makes all the difference. John 16:33 (ESV) reminds me that while difficulties will come, Jesus came to bring us peace. And we can claim that peace because He has already conquered the world, and we are His daughters.

So replace those ugly thoughts with the knowledge that God has already won all the ultimate battles, and you get to participate in that victory with Him!

4. Neutralize the enemy

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
Genesis 50:20 (ESV)

It’s not a curse that your mind comes up with these thoughts; it’s part of the incredible insight God has given you. Perhaps there’s something you need to learn from the situation that will help you grow, but that doesn’t mean it has to lead to a dreaded conclusion that undermines your confidence. Take a moment to consider your actions, and celebrate the fact that you can do something about it. Also, try to recognize the best in others, appreciating the positive intent behind their communication.

5. Kickstart your confidence!

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14a (ESV)

We all have moments when something someone says hits us in a hurtful way. But we can turn that story around by replacing it with God’s truth. Walk in that confidence, and watch as your perspective shifts, bringing more positive and empowering narratives into your life.

Lord, would You move in the heart of my sister reading this post and reveal to her through Your Holy Spirit how particularly loved she is by You? Let that love sink in and fill her with confidence and peace to carry her through this season in life. Amen.