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“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”
Psalm. 32:8 NIV

As I walked up to the snack machine, I could see the sign: “Out of Order.” I could certainly remember how that description applied to my life as a recent widow. I was left reeling off course. The order of what was normal and our plans came to a grinding halt. Life was completely altered and I felt woefully unequal to it. Does this description found familiar to you?

You’re not alone. That describes my feelings to a tee. As a widow, I could have worn a sign around my neck, “Out of Order” for some time. Although life required some function, the range of functionality from task to task and day to day varied greatly. I could be doing fine, then suddenly all would change when challenged with an emotionally charged task.

I’m down the road between five to six years now, and as I look back I am both amazed at what I accomplished with widow’s brain and shocked at the holes in my recollections.

God made it possible for me to face some daunting challenges. In all the disorder, little by little our God of order brought order to my life. He will do so for you, too.

One area that was extremely disrupted was my ability to sleep. The problem was tuning down my brain. I would wrestle hours and it was hard to schedule around such a crazy sleep schedule. God has brought order to my sleep and I’m on a consistent schedule.

God enabled me to sell the house my husband and I loved in the country, but not without trials. After the service for my husband as I readied the house to sell, a tree landed on the roof. I had it fixed by a very kind contractor God provided. Then the toilet leaked and the porch below had a huge bubble in the ceiling. Open house was that weekend. Never-the-less, God provided resources and the grace to face these and other unwanted developments.

God knew our husbands and loved them before they took their first breaths. He understands what a difference our husband’s absence makes to each of us. Life feels out of order and is both tremendously painful and disorienting. If you are like me, I didn’t have the first idea how to live without my husband. He was my better half, and I felt completely unequal to what lay before me. I shared this verse last month, but it applies here too: “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” – Luke 18:37 (ESV)

As with grief journeys, things take time. What does help to establish order gradually is to follow God’s word and take one day at a time. Do not worry about tomorrow. Pray about it but worry takes power from the day you occupy and that is not helpful!

1. Each morning ask God to help empower and provide–especially before difficult tasks.
2. Do the next necessary thing by the grace of God.
3. Thank Him and give yourself an “atta girl.” You and God make an awesome team!
4. Ask God to cover the things you don’t see.

Order is incremental but each step is an exhale. Your heavenly cheering section is applauding.

God graciously withholds from us the whole catalog of what will be necessary, but He provides for the next thing. Whatever that next thing is, He is there. I am reminded of a poem by a Elisabeth Elliot saying simply, “Do the next thing.” Many many days, that was the only way I survived. And still, today, I pray for His grace to help me do the next thing. He is there for you and He will make a way because Christ is the Way… in Him the impossible is made possible. In Him our weakness meets His strength and empowerment, and it begins with that simple surrender. “I can’t do it, God. You’re going to have to do it through me. Here I am.”

Dear Lord, You know our grief and pain. Thank You that in Your Power and Compassion You are here for us, minute-by-minute and day-by-day. Please order our steps. Thank You, Lord!