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Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13 ESV

Recently I found myself reflecting on how I’ve gotten to the healthy place I am today. Obviously, my faith in Jesus Christ has been the foundation of my healing. Even if I had nothing else or no one else, I would have Him. However, my Christian friends have played a large role in the healing my kids and I have experienced.

The Difficult First Days

During those impossibly difficult first days, they stepped up in ways I would have never expected. The night John died, I had five dear friends drop everything to come and just be with me, ready to do whatever was needed. One was eight and a half months pregnant at the time, and another drove more than two hours from a family vacation just to hug me, driving back to her family the same night. Many, many friends came to the viewing and funeral to support me. Meals and childcare were provided. My oldest son’s ninth birthday was just two days after the funeral, and I asked for help with making a cake for his party. What I got was a full-blown party with decorations, food and gift bags. I can’t even express to you how much that meant to us.

As much as the help and love in those first few months was helpful and precious, it has been the time invested in my family over the past few years that has been the most priceless.

More Difficult Days

I have had a handful of friends who have been in the trenches with me since day one of this new life of mine. Friends who have absorbed the kids and me into their families. Dear people who have listened, advised, and cried with me as I have dealt with all the challenges widowhood brings. Christian brothers and sisters who have sacrificed family and personal time, offered financial gifts, and used their skills and experience to help me. Friends who have been walking right along beside me, cheering me on as I have learned to find my way in this new life.

It’s in each of these friends that I see Christ.

Through their hands, God has hugged me.

It’s in their words that the Holy Spirit has spoken words of comfort and peace to my heart.

And it hasn’t just been the friends I had before becoming a widow.

Many of those I am closest to now are people I would have probably not met if it weren’t for my situation. These friends have brought a new perspective to my life that older friends can’t. Put the old and the new together and I have a community of love and support that I could never do without.

As much as I have been shown love through Christian friendship, I hope to show love back. See, there is a time when we need to take. When we are still healing and so deep in the grief, we need others to pour into us. But eventually, we move through the toughest parts of grief, and when we do, it’s time to give.

I believe God gives us friends and family to support us and help grow us in our widowhood. At some point, though, He expects us to mature and be ready to support others. It may mean that you mentor another widow who is not as far along in her journey, maybe you take a divorced, single mom under your wing, or you just step up in a time of need for one of those who was there for you in the darkest days.

Is it your turn to give your life for a friend?

Maybe it is it time to step up and walk the walk with another.

Who can you show Christ’s love to as it was shown to you?

Father, thank You for each of the people You have put into my life for this season of widowhood. I am so grateful for Christ-like friends who show Your love to me on a regular basis. But I pray for my widow sisters who may not have someone like that in their life right now; I ask that You bring someone to them that will meet that need. Amen