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God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.
Psalm 46:5 ESV

I was contemplating my next post for A Widow’s Might, and found these words I had written four months after my husband had passed. Four months. Do you remember those first months? The difficult nights. The long days. Are you in the middle of the first four months?

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My Journal Entry

I found this verse recently, and it has become so real to me. Each morning is a do-over from God. A gift of a new day for me. I am able to get those painful projects started: going through closets, going through the garage stuff, going through his boxes from his office. Each piece of clothing is a reminder of what I lost. Each book and framed picture is a sign of what I had.

I had a marriage.

A ‘complete’ family.

And a father to my kids.

But now it is just me and God. And lots of loving friends and family. When it is evening and I have tucked the children into bed, it is silent.

No adult conversation.

Or snuggling.

No planning of the future.

I think about the day and wonder how I even made it to night. So many mistakes. Yelling at a kid or two or more. I chose escaping into a book instead of reading my Bible. And if I did read, I rushed through my time with God. I certainly failed on so many levels to see God near me. How can this verse transform my every day life?

But God is in my midst. I invite Him each day to walk beside me, take my hand, guide me.

I will not be moved from my foundation of faith. But I struggle with doubts daily. How could all that has happened, happen to me? I chose a believer for a spouse, staying when things went terribly wrong in my marriage. I tried to love but it wasn’t enough to bring about change. And why death and not healing?

But morning comes. A new beginning for me to make better choices. To make progress in the house. To give just a bit more effort to walking with God. So when the dawn comes, I start over and remember God is my strength and will help me.

I can’t do this widowlife, I think. It is impossible. That is the beautiful thing about faith.

It is all through His power and not my inadequate strength.

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I had forgotten about this entry in my journal. And just the other day I was saying how I just love mornings because they are like a blank canvas, with no mistakes. I think Anne of Green Gables said something similar! I guess I have liked mornings for a very long time!

Mornings are mentioned in Scripture, especially in the book of Psalms. Here are just a few. You can find more by using a website like biblegateway or the Bible app.

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
Psalm 30:5 ESV

But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.
Psalm 59:16 ESV

But I, O Lord, cry to you; in the morning my prayer comes before you.
Psalm 88:13 ESV

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Psalm 90:14 ESV

To declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night,
Psalm 92:2 ESV

And when I wake up You are still with me!
Psalm 139:18b NLT

Do you dread mornings because it is another day without your husband? That is a very real perspective in grief, but let’s get to the place where we look at mornings through the lens of Scripture. Let’s anticipate His mercies that are new EVERY MORNING (Lamentations 3:22-24).

Choose one of the verses above, write it on a notecard, tape it to your bathroom mirror. You will see it every morning when you get up. What a special reminder from God the Father to YOU!

Father, thank You for the reminder that You are our strength each morning when we rise. We miss our husbands but know You are beside us. Mornings can be so hard, but thank You for holding our hands through this grief journey. Amen