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“He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others.”
Luke 21:2-3 (NIV)

After going through the first few years of being without Tom, I walked a friend through her murky waters of divorce. It was tough on her on many fronts, but one of the worst moments for her was the legal arbitration over the division of assets. She asked for my help because she felt unable to contain her emotions enough to think logically. She was not only distraught about her marriage ending, but also fearful of facing a future without a husband to depend on financially.

When all was agreed upon, she thanked me. The final settlement was more than fair, and gave her some assurance that her finances were, for the time being, secure.

That’s when I turned to her and suggested: “Before you go on with your life, get by yourself and pray about how much of this settlement the Lord wants you to give back to Him.”

Fear overtook her. “I’m lucky to even have enough to lean on for a while. I don’t have anything to give to the church.”

She didn’t understand what the giving was about.

“This isn’t about money. It’s about what money will do to you.”

That’s when I shared with her the single most critical decision I made when becoming a widow—I gave part of what I was given as a widow back to the Lord.

No matter how secure or insecure your finances are as a widow or single mom, God is clear on what your attitude towards money should be.

You cannot serve both God and money, and if you allow fear over your finances to overtake you, you’re serving the wrong god.

I tell you this as I told my friend: I don’t feel I can afford to give what I give. I really need to watch every dime because I’ve made a financially difficult choice to stay home and homeschool my children rather than work, so my nest egg has to last at least through the raising of these children, with hopefully enough to help with my retirement.

While giving every week is sacrificial, it has an amazing effect on my heart. I’m more empowered and confident about my future and my children’s future by giving than I would have been without doing so to the degree that I do. It’s as though each week, when I write out a check to the church, or each time when I help someone in need, I’m not only helping the church or the needy, I’m making a loud statement to the enemy. I’m saying, “Satan, get out of my life.” And I’m saying to money, “You don’t control me, Christ, through my actions, controls you.”

And guess what? It works! Rarely do worries over finances have me up at night—even when something disrupts my finances. Giving helps me remember not to worry, but trust.

The boys and I are under the Lord’s care—not the care of money. Continual giving is my way of exercising that part of my heart that has learned to trust Him more and more.

A COUPLE OF GUIDELINES I TRY TO FOLLOW WHEN GIVING:

1: Give through the church—When you feel led to give significantly to the needy, try to do so through a helping hands ministry in the church, where gifts are documented for your protection.

2: Pray for over a day, then act—Give your prayer enough time to feel that peace in your heart that you are being led to give, but not too much time where your fear of finances will pull you backwards.

3: Pastoral oversight—as widows, we need to make sure we aren’t taken advantage of. If you feel a leading to give, that’s great, but having a trusted pastor or believing friend (not related to the church you give to) follow your giving practices brings accountability to make sure the money is truly going to the Lord’s purposes.

Father God, open the eyes of our hearts in the matters of money. Help us to understand the power in a widow’s mite. No matter how big or how small our material fortune is, help each of us to remember it all belongs to You and that by continually giving part of it back to You each week we reclaim our trust in Your care, and only in Your care. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.