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“Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”
Isaiah 26:4 (NLV)

“We have a transition team to help you,” the sweet young woman sitting on the other side of the desk told me.

I’d been trying to muster up the patience and time to go to the bank for a while. Everything was still in both our names. As I tried to make some new financial decisions…checking off some more items from the long list given to me by the funeral director and my financial advisor. I’d finally decided it was time to get everything changed solely into my name. (Yes, it was four years out, procrastination at its finest, I know.)

As I sat explaining my story, I watched this young woman’s face change, and the discomfort she felt became palpable. The look of pity arose quickly, which I always try to take with a measure of grace.

She went through each account with me, slowly explaining the process. But then we hit a road block. My husband was the “primary” account holder on everything; I was just the “secondary” holder. I liked secondary, I thought to myself. I liked not doing this stuff. “Primary” is not fun!

She couldn’t seem to find the answers, so a call was placed to bank headquarters. As we sat waiting, I prayed she didn’t ask how my husband died. That would cause me to have to use the “S” word. Now, I’m not ashamed of it and through God, I own it– it’s my story. But for others “S”uicide isn’t a pretty word and they usually can’t escape fast enough…or look at me with a face full of pity, waiting for me to crumble on the floor. It quickly gets awkward.

The man came back on the line and told her the bad news. “Primary” account holders can’t be dropped; instead I’d have to open new accounts. But I’m reminded they have transition teams to help with that.

I sat there getting aggravated; this process seemed far too complicated. And annoyed that I have to have a transition team help me do this now more complex task; move all of my online banking…every auto pay, every bill, every auto deposit…over to a new account.

I sat there drifting off, as she tried to explain everything, stuck on the words “transition team”, “primary dropped”, “secondary only”…

This is what my life had come to?

In fact, it is. The “primary” is gone. It’s just me, the “secondary”! I’m in this bank doing this because of the transition from happily married young mom, to a widowed solo mom, sitting in a bank, wanting to cry or scream out how much this stinks, but refraining, knowing they probably won’t understand.

A transition team! I could’ve certainly used one of those in pretty much every facet of life, especially that first year.

I resolved to further investigate my options with this bank and others. This wasn’t an urgent decision that needed to be made on this day, after all it had been four years already.

As I left the bank, the words lingered in the air…

The primary is gone.

The secondary has to step up.

A transition team can help you.

I began to pray or really just proclaim out loud… Lord, I trust You. Lord, I trust You. Lord, I trust You… I really do!

Little did that sweet woman know, I already have my transition team in place.

My prayer continued…Precious Lord, You’re my transition team… You and only You can help me transition into this role. Give me the strength to do this. Help me to be patient and steadfast. Help me to do all that lies ahead. Help me become the “primary” with GRACE and COURAGE.

I’m praying the same for you! You’ve got this, sisters!

Father God, guide us as we tackle all that lies ahead on this journey. As we transition and become the primary, may You give us the grace, strength, and courage to trust You and step out boldly. In Your Matchless Name, Amen.