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Moving!

Aren’t we always moving?

Forward or backward, but it seems we never are in the same place.

Emotionally, spiritually, and even physically we move.

This is my 3rd move in 4 years.

As I’ve been packing again for, yet another move, old notes, and cards remind me of past celebrations and “the way life was”. Those are good memories. There was great love and now I am able to recognize the reality of loss and how God is healing my heart. I notice ways my grief has changed. Once I would have been drying tears and stuffing the emotions of the past being the past. I almost feel guilty about my eyes being dry today.

I see myself moving in a good direction. My moving has changed from just observing the trinkets, and pressed roses, to a time that I can reflect on memories collected with comfort and celebration. I’m moving my physical address and relocating my refrigerator and rocking chair. Now, I can relocate my grief to a better place as I allow God to work in my life.

I know that the Lord left me here. If I’m vertical, then my walk and time with Jesus need to be in order. My boxes for this move and the way they are labeled on the box have a purpose. In life, finding purpose provides strength for each day. I only need enough strength for confidence to continue forward in the midst of loss.

The moving seems to be a dance of sorts.

A dance of sorting through emotions and the movement from daily tears to spontaneous smiles.

Decisive sorting of what dreams can remain, and what to release to the Lord.

Focused on sorting to clarify the memories of life while both of us were on this side of heaven.

Movement does not mean that grief is gone. It’s settled and found its way with God’s help to change me and draw me closer to the Lord. Visual images can be celebrated while seeking future plans and relationships God would have for me. The movement has caused a softening of my heart. Grief can be painful and still too present to believe it will ever fully leave.

“For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11(NASV)

As I glance around the boxes, it is easier to see the ways God has provided exactly what I need when I need it. His plans involve moving from place to place this year. Sorting through options and opportunities that replace my original plans and dreams, I no longer want to be an observer of the past life I had with Bill. Instead. I want to celebrate what we had and anticipate a future that can hold new plans.

The process of moving from deep grief to seeing God in daily in my life is what I long for. That movement comes when I memorize promises from God’s word and as I pray for eyes to see Him working.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
Psalm 119:105 (NASV)

By closing the door and exchanging keys and signing on to a new address movement occurs. I can share my past and start toward the future by finding adventures to continue my story. I move from where I now live to the place God wants me to be.

Lord,

We come to You in the midst of our moving through life today. As we sort through our emotions and challenges, please provide us with hope and direction. We long for the knowledge and wisdom to make good decisions each moment. We desire the ability to sort and separate true treasures and to build strong relationships with the people you bring our way. Let us find You as we seek clarity and direction for our future. Let us hide Your word in our hearts and treasure and value the truth only You provide.

In Jesus’s Name, Amen.