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The memory of the righteous will be a blessing…but love covers all wrongs.
Proverbs 10:7, 12 (ESV)

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)

Memories

What do you do with those memories? You know the ones. How do you reconcile the painful with the wonderful? Why is it that the hardest ones come most easily to our memories?

As I was reading in Proverbs, God highlighted several verses for me to meditate on. “The memory of the righteous will be a blessing.” But who are the righteous? Those without sin? Those who never strayed from the straight and narrow? The Bible teaches us that the righteous are the ones who are “right” before God. And that only happens because of the work of Jesus Christ on the cross, dying for our sins and rising again, conquering death.

So does that mean a husband who sinned can be remembered as righteous? Let’s hope so! We all sin!! (Romans 3:23)

Hard Memories

How do I remember the husband who had addictions or anger issues? Is there any hope of his being remembered as righteous? Thankfully God doesn’t allow anyone into heaven based on their last sin or their last good deed. We would all be in trouble if He did. We are only allowed into heaven based on Christ’s work, which is nothing that we do on our own. (Ephesians 2:8,9)

My challenge is allowing “love to cover all wrongs”, especially in my marriage. I found a letter in my husband’s files. It was written before we were married, to our best friend (who lived in another state) and me (also living elsewhere). He had Xerox copied it, not sure why. But it was a gift. A gift from God to remind me of the man I fell in love with. The man I couldn’t wait to marry. That man I enjoyed spending time with for five years as my best friend before we said, “I do”. The man who could apply Scripture to just about any situation.

Fast forward a couple of decades. We had some unexpected events in our marriage that took our lives down a path I never would have imagined. How do I look at him and see “memories of the righteous”? Satan brings to mind all the “dirty laundry”. He wants me to think his sins were worse than my own. Satan wants me to be bitter and angry. Satan wants me to see my husband as unrighteous instead of righteous.

God allows us to see into the lives of Biblical characters and we see the good, the bad, and the ugly. We see murder. Sexual sins. Lying. Deceit. Drunkenness. Insecurity. Impatience. These people we read about were flawed. What hope! God didn’t hold those sins against them – He had many of those very people listed in the chapter of the faithful (Hebrews 11).

Love.

God’s love can change the way you remember your spouse. It doesn’t change the events though. And I have to look at him through “grace glasses” and not judgment. I have to remember he is forgiven and complete in Christ.

As a concrete reminder to look at my late husband through grace glasses, for many years I wore my husband’s wedding ring on my left hand. It reminded me of God’s grace in my life each time I noticed it there on my hand. And hopefully, I can allow God to bring good memories of a righteous man to my mind and see God’s love and my own love for him covering the rest of the memories.

Dear Father God,

Thank You for my husband. He was flawed and sinful but loved by You. Give me enough love to cover those memories that need to be covered. And give me the blessing of the good memories. Don’t let me stay in the memories of his mistakes but address them and move on. Your grace is sufficient for every memory. Remind me of my need for Your grace in my life every day. Thank You for Your grace.
Amen